Thu 29 Dec, 2022 02:13 pm
Does anybody ever feel stuck in a hole you can't crawl out of? I have always desired to find true love, my whole life. Someone to spend my life with. And I found it. I really did. But we broke up. That was in 2016, I want to move on, and it's not that I am stuck on him or obsessed with him, because I am not. My problem is that he was basically the equivilant of my soul mate. It was real and it was true, it was the fairy tale that people like us aren't supposed to have, it was something you only see on tv, or read in a book. I would love nothing more than to feel that feeling again, but the problem is, I know it's not going to happen, there just aren't people like that, like me, or like him, in this time period. He was one of a kind. I want to move on, but I know what will happen, I will continuously be biased and compare him with my ex, and that isn't fair, and so I remain single. I can't put myself in a relationship and not give it my 100% it's not fair to compare someone with your ex, they should be able to prove themselves. The current should have your focus, But I just know how people really are in this time period. I don't want to be like that, but my heart can't help it. I don't even have sex. I don't want too, I've hooked up in my past, nothing wrong with it, if your upfront and responsible and all that, but I don't want that. I'm a weird guy I guess. I would rather make love. To feel love, to feel whole and to feel real. Has anybody ever experienced it? How can I move on and be fair to a potential new mate? It depresses me when I realized I just turned 35. I lost 2 1/2 years ( will be 3 march 5 this coming year ) because if severe covid, before that I lost over a year from my birthday November 18 2018 ( on all days for that to happen on ) til current because of my cousins murder and nobody who will even share a hashtag for me so I can finally say goodbye and bring her justice. And prior to that a large portion of my life due to ptsd and panic disorder.which I finally was able to overcome July 28 2017 with the help of a small dose of psilocybin mushrooms. I didn't get much time for true freedom between that and my cousins murder then covid. And I realized I was 35 now. So much of my life wasted, on either wrong people or because of bad people. The desire is so strong yet I feel like the eternal flame that has always fueled that desire within me, was snuffed out after my ex. How can the best feeling in the world actually be my curse? Can the curse be broken? Can I learn to love again?
I feel you're too backwards-focussed and obsessed with finding love like you'd had. There are all kinds of love out there - why limit it to one type? You can be happy with various people. You seem stuck in your definition and experience of 'true love' when maybe you could be open to a different kind of love.
I would love nothing more than to feel that feeling again, but the problem is, I know it's not going to happen, there just aren't people like that, like me, or like him, in this time period. He was one of a kind.
You sound like all my ex's :-))
But seriously, don't worry so much about the wasted time or the lost 'perfect one'. There is no such thing of either. You are feeling like time is running out because of - what? That you won't look good much longer? Think about that.
PS: What period of time do you think would fit you better and provide a more 'target rich environment'?
Well....speaking for myself....I can't "love" again. I "liked", but I didn't love. I had one good man, who I loved and married. He passed away suddenly. I dated twice, and not only were they a waste of time, I just couldn't work up the energy for them. I now live for myself without having to worry about anyone else.