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Please review a pice of my lirics.

 
 
Resol
 
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 05:45 am
Hello.Is this sentence correct in English?
"With every move I make I'm sinking deeper in the water. "
I'm not sure about time matching between first and last part. Thank you.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 249 • Replies: 14
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 07:12 am
@Resol,
It works, it's correct.

It would also work and be correct if you removed "in the water."
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 07:27 am
Some lyrics eschew grammar but we understand and listen to the song anyway.

Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on
Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on

Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town
And everybody there tries to put my Sloopy down
Sloopy I don't care what your daddy do
'Cause you know Sloopy girl I'm in love with you
And so I'm singing

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sloopy let your hair down girl, let it run down on me
Sloopy let your hair down girl, let it run down on me

Come on Sloopy, come on, come on
Come on Sloopy, come on, come on
Well, come on Sloopy, come on, come on
Well, come on Sloopy, come on, come on

Well it feels so good, come on, come on
You know it feels so good, come on, come on

Well shake it, shake it, shake it Sloopy, come on, come on
Well shake it, shake it, shake it yeah
Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Resol
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 07:32 am
@izzythepush,
Thank you very much!
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Resol
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 07:34 am
@edgarblythe,
Thank you. Just hoping bad grammar doesn't ruin worshipping experience.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 07:42 am
@Resol,
I wouldn't worry about that. Grammar is fluid, and song lyrics, like poetry, do not have to stick to grammatical rules.

How grammatical is this?

Well be-bop-a-Lula she's my baby
Be-bop-a-Lula I don't mean maybe.
Resol
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 08:54 am
@izzythepush,
👍🏽Thanks!
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 09:11 am
@Resol,
Good luck with it all.
Resol
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 08:22 pm
@izzythepush,
Hey. Thanks again for your help. here is the final product. Hope you like it.
https://youtu.be/BR5TyyTh9yw
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 08:50 am
@Resol,
That can stand shoulder to shoulder with Christian Rock.

It doesn't sound out of place.

I'm sure lots of places of worship will appreciate it.
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 09:03 am
@Resol,
I like it. Wishing you much success.

Resol wrote:

Hey. Thanks again for your help. here is the final product. Hope you like it.
https://youtu.be/BR5TyyTh9yw
Resol
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 09:22 am
@izzythepush,
Thanks a lot. Your feedback is really important to me.
Resol
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 09:24 am
@edgarblythe,
It is rewarding to know that someone who doesn't know me personally likes my song. Thank you
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 09:29 am
@Resol,
Good luck with it, I hope it goes down well.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 09:35 am
@Resol,
Resol wrote:

It is rewarding to know that someone who doesn't know me personally likes my song. Thank you

You have a good command of your subject and addressed it very well. I
0 Replies
 
 

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