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Sat 13 Aug, 2005 03:48 pm
Tonight I have no breath
For all mine has been stolen
Snatched by your kisses
And sealed by those heavenly lips
Tucked away and lighting those radiant eyes
Flecked with gold and emeralds
Full of the passion that burns beneath my breast
Scorching my heart
Making me tremble in awe
Beneath your soft skin
Here lie my thoughts
My dreams
My hopes
Every want and wish of my own aching heart
I feel it here
Beating in time with your heart
Like an aching pulse
That runs between us
I ache for that simple touch
As you grasp my soul in your hands
And pray that this single light
Which holds me over the chasm of despair
Never goes out
I'm happy for you beckaboo
i think you should change flecked to fucked though
Good for you!
That poem's got a nice rhythm to it. However, there are a few to many romantic cliches, (such as "aching heart") for it to stand out to me. Sorry to criticise it so harshly when you haven't actually asked for criticism, I can't help it...
Lol nah it's fine
I'd been reading Shakespeare... I then get the urge to write romantic **** ... And cliches just kinda come out
It's not meant to be taken seriously
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