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A warped ode to Lancelot

 
 
Monger
 
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 10:44 pm
No, I am not under the influence of powerful, mind-altering substances


Like, once upon the days of yore
Within the land of Camelot
There was a brute but noble knight
Known by the name Sir Lancelot

Now he was known a man of war
And not some scrawny, nerdy snot
But yet he'd rather ride a lass
Than ride to battle fighting Scots

When meeting dames he'd waste no time
He'd take them straightways to his plot
Then pour himself a drum of ale
And advance his ample lance a lot

But though so dearly he was loved
And was in every wench's thought
They wished he'd aim his quiver straight
Because he often missed the spot

One time, alas, when he came home
Appearing drunk and wearing squat
He tried to find young Guen to joust
But stuck it in an apricot

And so the moral of this tale
In case you cannot see the plot
(Or think that it's all tommyrot)
Is learn to make sweet love, not war
Or else you'll get a nasty swat
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,491 • Replies: 19
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pueo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 10:48 pm
Re: A warped ode to Lancelot
Monger wrote:
No, I am not under the influence of powerful, mind-altering substances


hmmmmm
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:02 pm
There has to be some sort of an explanation!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:24 pm
And so, to move this thing along,
(For Monger's sung but half the song)
I shall you more of Lance regale
And hope you'll like my humble tale:

You've heard of lovely Guenevere,
Whom Lance hath loved for many a year?
But - did you ken the cause for this,
That fueled their passion, and each kiss?

Yon Gwenny had a luscious quim -
A lovely thing - yet had one whim -
For, in among its pleasing sights,
Were little, teeny, landing lights...

So, be the night or dark, or drear,
Though Lance saw not his landing gear,
And, were he drunk, or were he hot,
That twit could guide his Lancelot!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:25 pm
Hmmm - is there any excuse for mine, then?
0 Replies
 
pueo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:36 pm
Drunk
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:38 pm
Nup!


(I DO hope Monger doesn't mind!)
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:39 pm
dlowan wrote:
Hmmm - is there any excuse for mine, then?
Does Australia count as an excuse? Wink

Lo, thus here bunny hath shown herself in fine, nay, legendary form indeed with such rhyme she doth quoth, or something like that.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 28 Mar, 2003 11:47 pm
Monger doesn't mind, then? (trembles...)
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 12:02 am
Of course I dunna mind a bit
The bonny mess yer dooin' here
Wouldn't be the same without ya, miss
Besides, I'm just here for the beer
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 12:08 am
LOL!

You be getting BEER? HERE?
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 12:41 am
You can't tell? Laughing
0 Replies
 
gezzy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 01:06 am
LOL!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 01:13 am
Tell? Everyone always accuses me of being drunk when I am not - so how would I be able to tell when you are drunk, since drunkenness appears to be a natural attribute of mine.

If you get what I mean.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 01:58 am
Lancelot was a childhood hero, but I digest. I'm going for the beer too.

You guys didn't know about the beer? I suppose that's a good thing.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 02:29 am
Scott's version?
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 10:53 am
It would be a Poeful, woeful, Lancelot. Crying or Very sad


Quim is a new word for me. Is it one of those uniquely strine words?
I just love these educational sites. You and Monger should publish together--I'd be first in line.

Tell me, how do the landing lights work? I'm eager to learn. Embarrassed
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 04:29 pm
Diane -"quim" - which is a term I like, is an old English term - like "cunny" which is also cute.

The landing lights? - hmmmmmmmm.....
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 05:46 pm
Deb, it was the concept. I didn't know of any authors.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Mar, 2003 05:54 pm
Many authors - one Lancelot - well, many Lancelots, too.
0 Replies
 
 

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