Love --- Oasis or Mirage

John, My Gawd,

From Avatar to Oasis to mirage--
"A crisp dusk at harvest time"-- I'm drinking in that clear and unexpected water, a refreshing breath of air in a world of jejune and storms.

"not a minute earlier, or a minute sooner"

Yes, the right time.

John, your poem is lovely, but the title is confusing--or else I just can't see the connection.

Love--Oasis or Mirage. To me that is a question asking whether love is a refuge or if it is an unreal reflection of a need or desire. Your poem seems very straightforward about the reality of love--that it appears at the right time, under any circumstance. I don't detect any mirage there.

Would you consider changing the title or else adding some uncertainty and heartbreak?

Then again, maybe you should just ignore what I said. We all have different ideas of what love is and mine include all the rapturous beauty that love can bring, but those feelings are shadowed by traces of fear and old memories.

Criticism is soooo difficult for me. I tend to say to myself "oh, shut up, Diane." Yet you are so honest and take your writing seriously, which makes me certain that you would want an honest opinion; so, I hope you will take this in the spirit in which it is meant.

Was that convoluted enough for you?

Letty ---- Yes, a mixed bag of thoughts wandering thru my mind. Then going off at tangents perhaps. I end up with words, of which I'm not always sure of their meaning.

Diane ---- The title I gave it is confusing. I thought about it after I posted the piece and came to the conclusion that it didn't have much to do with the rest of it. When I was making movies and videos, the final title was often the last thing that was decided upon.
This particular piece was written in about 5 minutes. Not planned in any way, it's merely how the words left my head, reached the keyboard and hit the screen. There was no motivation for writing it. Turn a tap on and water flows, though at times the pipes rattle and splutter. When I re-read it this morning, it reminded me of a time many years ago which I let slip through my fingers.
What you wrote above is perfectly valid and I accept all of what you say and yes, the title is all wrong.

great poem Oak, thanks for sharing it.

I like the title because it implies to me that we aren't always certain that love is real or an illusion.

The "oasis" is the real factor in a desert; the "mirage" a suggestion that the heat of the mind causes us to see and feel things that are transitory.

Love is so many things, that a poem centered around this emotion, doesn't need to hang together as an essay would. As a matter of fact, John, the fact that you wrote it in a moment, ties in quite powerfully with your allusion to time.

The beautiful thing about symbolism in poetry, is that one may fit the words snugly into any experience of a personal nature. Coleridge, for example, wrote "Xanadu" strictly for what he called the ecstacy of sound.

er, I'm off my soap box, now.

letty, insight in your words. And a very sturdy soapbox, thankyou

Letty--you have a way of getting to the heart of things and I've looked again at the poem.
I read it purely from my own perspective, without taking the time to read it from John's point of view. You're right, of course. The spontaneity (getting smitten by surprise) is the delightful part of love and all the flurry of emotions--and also represents dropping the shield John mentioned.
My opinion of the poem remains the same--it is lovely.
Now I have to apologize for not taking the time to read it thoroughly before dashing off a self-centered criitque.

Diane, no need to apologise. People see different things in a poem, novel or a movie. I find if I look at something a 2nd time I often see something I missed or see it from a different perspective.
I also think it's perfectly valid and beneficial if 2 or 3 or even 50 people see a piece differently. It means that it is capable of reflecting many factors and visions

John, excellent point. I remember years ago a Picasso was hung upside down at a well known museum for quite some time before being discovered and placed properly.

Many people were sarcastic about it not making any difference how it was hung, but an artist friend of mine saw it as a positive statement on how beautifully balanced his painting had to be in order for it to appear well composed to professionals.

Know something, Diane? I do believe that poets and writers will outlive, in spirit, anyway, those who seek to bury us under the rubble of war.

No, love does not conquer all, but dreamers do.

and as Shakespeare noted, "...MacBeth has murdered sleep, innocent sleep..." that's why he was an antagonist and why, strangely enough, Lady MacBeth became the protagonist.

Letty: No, love does not conquer all, but dreamers do.

So beautiful and so true. It's good to keep things like that in mind always, but especially during times like these.

Everything has its natural balance. Be it simple, such as 2 people standing next to a car or complex, such as stalagnites and stalagtites that often adorn caves the world over.

Trouble is, John and Di, I can never remember which one is up and which one is down. Uhoh.

Stalactites hold tight to the ceiling and stalagmites cling to the ground. Now all I need is a pneumonic device to explain which end of Picasso is up(or down) :wink:

I think they take it in turns Letty

Letty, you might be embarrassed if you look too closely. LOL


John wrote:

Everything has its natural balance. Be it simple, such as 2 people standing next to a car or complex, such as stalagnites and stalagtites that often adorn caves the world over.

True up to a point, until you get into the arts--writing, since we were talking about your piece. Balance takes skill, which you showed in your writing. Music, painting, dance (especially dance--you could get hurt without balance!) and writing all require that ability to reach the right level.

Do you have anymore to share with us?