Article for Boink Magazine

What's the purpose of this piece?
What were you supposed to be writing about?

If I had a better idea at what you were aiming at, maybe I can give you some info that might help.
As of now, it stills sounds like something you are writing to yourself.

My experience as a virgin/tease.

Well, it's a college newspaper, so no one will give a ****.
Just hand it in as is.

Seriously though, who you are writing for?
If the article is a sex column, then no one will care about the writing.
They just want smut, and you did a good job of that.
If it's meant to be a serious piece, then I would trim the sexual details.
This article reads like a letter to Playboy.

I don't mean to be unkind; I'm just giving my thoughts.
I hope it helps you.

best of luck

btw, a great way to learn about whatever type of writing you are doing is to READ other writers. See what they do, what works and what doesn't.

I regularly read a local rag bc of a great sex columnist: she is smart, funny, pays attention to trends in her city, and then writes about it.
Just a sidenote.

Thanks... it's an actual published magazine for college students, though... it's not just available at BU (I don't even go to BU.) Think JANE meets Playboy meets Cosmo.