Help, I've hardened and can't get soft

Set here fer a while and I'll pop ya a brewski, neo.

The nation of Fossilonia was said to have occupied an area of Asia Minor between a rock and a hard place. Concrete evidence is lacking, however.

I once knew a fossil named Morris
Who'd been eaten by tyrannosaurus
And while he was restin
Within the intestine
He thought of this poem just to bore us.

The fossilized remains of petrified geezers have been found in excavations from the Alzheimoic era, which corresponds with the first known appearance of the shrinkosaur. . .

You're just stonewalling us, neo.
Joe (Gravel in my gut) Nay Shonuf

God's will is mysterious and set in stone.

What should we have expected from such an inflexible God? I hate this.

Fossils are peaceful rocks. Fossils don't attack each other. Fossils don't develop weapons of mass destruction.

This is a perfect example of argumentum ad fossilarium.

Just because you believe you are a fossil does not mean that fossils exist.

There could be worse things. You could be a green fossil.

Fossilization is necessary in the progression of the soul to the light. Next will be a cocoon like state after which you will emerge as a, er, well, we really don't know.

So what?

You idiot! Now your body has taken after your petrified brain. What did you expect, you $%$ $#@* %^shole?

I do not know if your affliction is truly an affliction. I will hit you with this stick. If it breaks, you are a fossil. Hey! Come back here!

When the species of a being is not clear to you, look at his friends.

There are many strata of fossils; Therefore, you exist.

I'm sorry if I somehow caused you to fossilize. I can't imagine how, but if there's anything I can do . .

Fossilization is simply another manifestation of the threefold nature of dweeb.