Did I jump the gun too soon or is she in the wrong?

Reply Thu 21 Jul, 2022 02:56 pm
I’ve liked this girl from work for quite a while and we’ve kissed on two occasions over the space of three months. When we first started working together I gathered that she liked me, although she would be quite shy/awkward I thought it was easy to pick up on signals ie-staring, constantly being around you without talking etc.
Kiss 1- We had a work night out, and she was staring at me all night before she plucked up the courage to come over to me. We were both quite drunk, but she confessed her feelings, we kissed and she even brought up us seeing each other which left me a bit bemused after one kiss. I did not follow through on those comments in days/weeks after all alcohol was involved and we all say stuff when we’re drunk.
Problem 1- As the weeks went by post kiss it started to get extremely awkward between us, it got to a stage where she wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I said hi to her. I gathered it was because I didn’t show her enough attention or address the kiss but a mutual friend talked to her and she said that was not the case as she couldn’t remember anything from said night. (Face palm)
Kiss 2- two weeks ago we had another night out, we weren’t as drunk as the last time and come the end of the night she pulled me aside for a talk. She brought up what I said to our mutual friend and was very interested in how I felt about the “situation” and her. I admitted my feelings and she also said she liked me, and once again she made a move on me for a kiss (which was intense) and I obviously obliged.
Problem 2- I was out of work for a week , and she was on holiday so I felt the need to text her before we see each other again to see where I stand unlike last time. I did, I told her that I liked her a lot and that I’d like to bring her for a drink. She said she was s*** at giving mixed signals (you don’t say) and was only out of a “thing”, which I understand she is. To put it politely I was rejected lol.
Conclusion- Is it understandable for me to be confused rn? Would a girl really say all those things and kiss you twice if she wasn’t interested? I’ve seen her on tinder since, so I’m thinking is it male validation that she craves or is that being too harsh? It’s hard to get my head around a girl who comes across as relatively quiet and nice can mess with my feelings. Any advice would be great.
Reply Fri 22 Jul, 2022 05:59 am
Two key takeaways here:
- She seems to have an interesting relationship with alcohol.
- You asked her out, she said no.

When she's sober, you aren't the guy. It's not that she is not looking since she is on Tinder, she's just not looking for you. I say move on. Find someone who wants to be with you. Also, next time, don't let days/weeks go by if you are interested.
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