@nofoc,
You've clearly not tried for every training possible under the sun. Because if you were doing that, well, you'd still be at it.
But step back for a moment.
Instead of lurching toward any possible training or job, start to consider what you, personally, like to do. Not work-wise. I mean life-wise.
Use paper and a pencil or pen. This always seems to work better when you're physically writing versus tapping a screen.
Write down everything you enjoy. Yes, you can include stuff like sex, video games, eating, etc. if anything like that applies. This list isn't meant to be practical. Right now, you're just gathering information.
Once you have utterly exhausted the topic, start grouping things together. Group under rough categories that should be something like:
- Artistic (put eating here, particularly if you also cook)
- Athletic (put sex here if it's on your list)
- Academic
- Helping people
- Organizing
- Entertainment (video games go here)
These categories aren't meant to be exhaustive, but the first 3 or 4 are probably a must.
Now order them by preference, within each grouping. If stuff is close then it's a tie, and that's okay.
Now look at the activities practically. Put a star next to anything which looks more like a job. But
also do some Googling.
Your search should be
jobs where you ____. And fill in the blank with any preferred activity. For example, you can actually find jobs where you get paid to eat.
Once you have a list together of stuff you like to do where there can be an actual career behind it, start to Google training opportunities for those jobs. Determine what is most practical for you. Maybe cost or location or length of time for training will be the deciding factor. You do you.
Go through the training and give it all you've got. As in, do way more than the bare minimum. Go for the gusto. This means extra credit and reading more books than you're assigned (if applicable). Throw yourself into it with enthusiasm, pride, and ambition. Your goal, in all seriousness, is to be #1. A+ student. 4.0 GPA. Head of the class. Valedictorian. You get the idea.
Even if you don't become the absolute top of your class, that's okay. I'm not saying that anything less than
summa cum laude is unacceptable. What I
am saying is you're trying to improve your future self. And if you won't commit to that, then you need to rethink things.
Finish your training. Start looking for work. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Update your work history/resume, put it on LinkedIn. Apply for jobs. Be prepared to start at the bottom.
And see where it all leads you. In short, I am suggesting that you take charge of your own destiny. Don't let the world batter you around.
Oh and finally, if you're feeling hopeless, you may want to consider counseling. Being depressed at all (IANAD) will make this feel impossible-- and you need to embrace this sort of a plan by believing that you can do anything.