How to control anger?

In your particular case, I have no answer. For myself, in traffic, I simply do not allow myself to become angry over something I have done, myself.

Probably not helpful.

Get really really FAT such so you can be angry at will while not being able to do shizz about it because you can't move!

When you are upset and try to grin, tears will begin to run from your eyes, and you will win control.

It sounds like you're dealing with Grief. Grief is the natural reaction to Loss. You spoke about a loved one hurting you, but have you ever really dealt with this in a healthy manner? What this person took from you, you cannot get back and you're struggling to find a balance through it. Right now you're experiencing Anger, a very common emotion associated with Grief.

There are stages of Grief you should be aware of and may need some help to try to work through each stage.

-Denial
-Anger
-Bargaining
-Depression
-Acceptance

"Not everyone will experience all five stages, and you may not go through them in this order.

Grief is different for every person, so you may begin coping with loss in the bargaining stage and find yourself in anger or denial next. You may remain for months in one of the five stages but skip others entirely."

https://www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief#order

Another great resource:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

It's good you're recognising certain issues about yourself and reaching out. Please continue to do so, and you'll learn how to control the anger or at least mitigate it's effects.

Daily physical training ease your mind, I will recommend running or swimming, its cheap, not consuming a lot of time, and good for your physical and mentally health.
When anger, just shut up, and leave if you need to. Nothing good come out of your mouth. I have some anger issue, but since I care less about others opinion, they can say 1+1=3 and I will still cherish them, life become much easier.