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Sun 17 Jul, 2005 10:35 am
Far beyond the blemished garden
Stirring withered leaf and pine
Where darkness falls the length and distance
As the river flows in time
A great house upon a hillside
Gnarled branches mass its form
As they shadow grayish windows
With curtains old and torn
A door ajar on broken hinges
Near a cold and shabby wall
Makes way to looming doorways
Stretching to a distant hall
A candle glows to light the way
No stumbling on the path
While the rousing sound of something
Keeps each sense upon the track
A step inside the alcove
In the stillness unaware
Finds a sound of footsteps softly
Tapping endlessly with care
Then music plays with Mozart
In loud and ancient aura
As piano keys dance lightly
Harmonizing with euphoria
Edging much more closer
To the rhythm and the feel
Pinching the extremity
To imagine this is real
In a far off corner
Hidden from the day
Sets the grand piano
With keys that move and sway
And a bench that is left vacant
By no person there or such
As the symphony continues
And swells with every touch
Hidden violins begin to beckon
Fashioned cellos strum and strive
Soft flutes create the ageless moment
Enchanting melodies alive
As the last chord strongly resonates
And glistens in the gloom
The final chorus of the opus
Creates a hush upon the room
Then darkness gathers daytime
As silence finds its stead
While the haunting dream transcending
Finds you waking in your bed
(title edit)
Beautiful Colorbook!
Really, really, beautiful picture of a musical dream. I love the first stanza - just perfect in setting the mood for the piece. Beautiful language- "fashioned cellos strum and strive" - just exceptional. Thanks for sharing it.
Thank you very much aidan, glad you liked it.
damn dat was niice alth0ugh ya c0uld have used m0re metaph0rs especiially wiit dat kiinda c0ntent feel me
I like it although I tend to read stuff in rhythm (a handy but annoying trait) and it's a little disconcerting how the rhythm has to change to accomodate the changing number of syllables. That said it's wholey possible to do and there's nice imagery supporting it
Colourbook, congrats!
I really enjoyed reading this.
Fashioned cellos strum and strive
Quote: that bit jumped out at me as my favorite part
I wouldn't change anything. It stands well as is.
You paint it beautifully, colorbook. One thing that makes a work good is having the element of surprise. I like this one a lot.
I was away from A2K for a while...I forgot I posted this here.
I would like to thank you all for reading it...your comments are appreciated
Nice like ice
I've always liked writing about music, too... I think that this is many times cooler than any attempt I've ever made at portraying a symphony with words. So out of jealousy, I will give you no recognition whatsoever.
Thank you both for taking the time to read it