Intergalatic tresspass! this concerns you-it could happen!

Hey everyone! I am 15 and I'm studying english at a small school in the UK and i cant think of anything more exhilarating that writing! I really want to be an author! Here is one of my attempts of a novella that I am writing at the moment. Some concepts in this story are based on true fact and have interested me recently! I hope you enjoy and please post a reply...

Intergalactic trespass

Prologue: Millennia from our control

She was a beautiful woman, crafted in such a sleek and delicate way that she was a masterpiece to the human race. Well…this was the view of many males watching her. Her thick locks of black hair swayed alongside her hips as her body glided through the air past the eyes of lustful men.
It was a dingy and derelict old bar, designed only to tempt the sleaze that wandered off the metropolis unable to afford any real booze, but able to cheat and con their way to the bottom of an old bottle of red wine or a shot of **** whisky.
Dr. Naomi Nova hated the place, every day after a hard day at the laboratories of the senate, she would have to waltz in here and climb into the electro-pod that rocketed her to her room some three hundred feet below sea level.
As always the bar was dimly lit and the robotic barman behind the counter was serving a homeless man a shot of gin that he had apparently earned by begging earlier that afternoon.
After a few husky and slurred wolf whistles, Naomi found her way to the electro-pod that hummed with a luminous aqua light. The light at the back flickered a little and as she climbed in it died for a minute and the power in the entire shuttle cut off.
"George! For god's sake! You really need to get a new pod, how's a girl meant to get to her room!"
There was a roar of laughter from the group of tramps to her left and she heard some very sleazy innuendos about how ?'they' could get her to her room.
"**** off!" Naomi shouted.
George, the robotic barman, rolled towards her and his aluminium frame glowed as he spoke. His voice was calm and soothing but Naomi could detect his hostility.
" Naomi, how do you expect me to get a new pod? With the money you pay for rent each night?" The robot leaned towards the sweating meatloaf of a man next to her and said: "but, then again, money is hardly an issue is it?"
With that, the group roared with laughter and she put her head in her hands and a small cluster of tears rolled out of her crystalline eyes. She would not let this get her down. No she could not let this get her down. **** them all.
" Just…just jump start it will ya?"
The robot rolled towards the pod and with his metal hand smacked the case and a trickle of electrons flowed from George's fingers to the metal case and slowly the light at the back ignited again and the hum of the computer chips inside resumed.
"Thank you."
Naomi hit the launch button and the pod closed as she hurtled towards her room below her. The electro-pod scrambled along the line with a wave of electric current crashing over it as she watched the screen on the side of the pod. The screen then flashed and a small childish figure appeared and its comforting voice sounded over the speakers.
" Twenty seconds until arrival. Destination, level thirty-two. Apartment 76. Please enter your seventeen-digit access code. Failure to enter this code correctly will result in this electro-pod 737 being transported back to the main level. If necessary, the pod is armed with high voltage electric current. Any attempt to force entry to a suite, will result in immediate self-destruction of this pod or immediate contact with the local vigilante group. Please enter your seventeen-digit access code, now."
Naomi reluctantly entered her code and the door popped open and she felt the vortex of the Internet open. The child that spoke over the speakers of the pod then confirmed her access code.
" Welcome Naomi Nova to your apartment, the gateway to your front door has been opened. This link is private and is currently secured by the X7X virus nervous system. Safety: 99.8765%. We hope you enjoyed travelling with this electro-pod 737 and look forward to assisting you again. Please exit the pod now and proceed to be uploaded to the Internet." The child quivered.
Naomi heard this every night of her life, while living here. Although the bar was a despicable lair of filth, its security was high. She needed an apartment with high security, especially as she worked for secret intelligence at the Senate. One thing she hated though was having to live digitally enhanced in the Internet.
Then again, in this day and age nobody lived 24/7 in their bodies unless you couldn't afford the thirty star-cents a year to do so.
She lifted her bottom out of the electro-pod and hit the ?'transmit signal' button on the side and she felt her body dissolve away and her mind sunk past her eyes and into the blank screen ahead of her. Within a few seconds, the pod hurtled back up to the bar and the mind of Naomi Nova electrically pulsed its way through the system.
The signals tangled in the web for a moment and then darted to a receptor, embedded in the Virtual Reality Cosmos Centre or the VRCC for short. The signals flashed again and again for a few seconds and suddenly she felt herself coming back and her eyes re-emerged from the feed. She watched as the rest of her body loaded into another electro-pod but this time the pod was much more glamorous. It was hers.
She stared through the pristine glass into her apartment and she clicked the door open and strolled into her living room and collapsed onto the sofa that seemed to be made out of some kind of liquid. As she sat down, it rippled and a slight haze radiated throughout.
The whole apartment was made by several thousand groups of signals, nothing was authentic, and nothing was real. Everything was artificial and everything, including her own body, was just a group of signals planted in the Internet to allow her to survive. But it was hers.
Naomi, now safe in her own space felt relieved. Her eyes were an electric grey that were constantly filled with a slight paranoia and apprehension. She was edgy. Perhaps a little too edgy. But if it wasn't far this edginess, she wouldn't have discovered all of the things that got her to the Senate. For example, she had discovered how to rewire the pods so that they could actually keep in contact with various colonies on Mars and Europa.
By doing this Naomi and managed to claim a spot on the communication administration team at the Senate and after that she discovered various flaws in Earthling space travel and so transferred there. After curing the problems, she was then transferred to secret intelligence of the galaxy and is now part of the defence team.
The year is 7891 and since the late 28th century, mankind has travelled further into the solar system and Earth has become the nerve system of trade with neighbouring planets that are controlled by separate governments that consider themselves different to Earthlings and so Earth has been under attack many times also, but now all of that was to change because of some strange and underlying flaw in the Earth's sun as the final chronicles of humankind draw to a most cataclysmic close and little did she know, that she would soon discover the most extraordinary and terrifying event of universal history.
She got up off of her liquefied sofa and dragged herself to her fridge that stood aimlessly in the corner of her kitchen. She hauled the door open to reveal an almost empty bottle of wine and after drinking the last few droplets that were there, she went in search of something else but her insecurities collapsed inside of her, weighed her down into her pillow and there drowning in tears, she slept as the universe went awry.