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Mon 11 Jul, 2005 10:55 am
D- DESPERATION
E- EQUALITY
S-SEPARATION
P-PARTNERS
A- ALONE
I- IGNORANT
R- RIPPED APART
"Why can't I love whom I choose?"
"Because Sarah, It's not right."
"But, shouldn't a person be able to choose and not be forced to love someone they despise?"
"Don't be mad at me Sarah, it is society who has forced me to make this descion."
"What? How can you say that? YOU are the one sending me away!"
" Your father and I just can't have a "different" child in our family."
"I hate you mother and make sure you tell daddy that he should be sent away to then...Why? Why can't you just love me and love who I choose to love?"
"I'm sorry...I can't.."
Very understandable, sad but true.
If this is deeply personal, I apologize, but it really lacks any measure of successful delivery. You have a relevant, modern idea but you put it in an acrostic cage, then quickly shoot it dead with poorly written dialogue and a complete lack of imagery.
Lex, I'd be interested to see a short story of yours.
You have a knack with dialogue.
I agree: I can see the idea that's good.
I'd say you just need to push yourself a bit more.
Don't get discouraged if it sometimes takes an entire notebook worth of writing to get one poem/story. Keep writing!
That cut
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