Insight, Insults, & Injury

Some of your character's observations are humorous and interesting. This just suffers from a slow intro, it does little to hook the audience and requires a very devoted person to get into the meat of the story. The ending didn't feel very satisfying or conclusive. Though an explosion isn't the only type of ending and it could easily work if the beginning had some more power.

I, on the other hand was hooked immediately because I am familiar (by reputation) with Evergreen. Several people I went to college with transferred there, as it was a kind of west coast reciprocal school to mine, which was on the east coast. I also went to a school that was pretty much a haven for liberals - although I fitted in pretty well, as I was pretty much of a hippy - although I do understand the narrator's discomfort with the brand of liberalism that runs rampant at such schools - it's really more of an indoctrination than a viewpoint expressed. To me liberal means open-minded and willing to share and consider the viewpoints of others in a generous spirit - this is not often the attitude truly taken at schools such as these.

So anyway - that 's what hooked me. But I also liked the flow of the narrative, and the narrator is an interesting character. I was especially struck by his consternation and confusion upon understanding that the young woman in the office was afraid of him. It became clearer later when he states that he has Aspergers, why this might be so, as cruel and uninformed as such a reaction remains. Some people are afraid of any difference -and as Autism is a spectrum disorder and people identified with Asperger's are at the high functioning end of that spectrum, and this narrator seems to be even at the high end of the Asperger's spectrum - I would attribute the problem to the young woman and not to the narrator. Would that be accurate? His realization of this fact is a very poignant moment in the narrative for me.

This narrator is a funny and insightful story-teller. He provides interesting viewpoints and perceptions, especially around his presentation and the teacher's reaction to it - as well as his views on feminism and how it can be represented in its worst possible and most stridently unattractive form by some women.

I liked having a narrator with a difference (Asperger's). It is so rare that you read a story in the voice of someone who is living a different reality than most folks. The fact that he gets confused, but is mindful of his tendency to do just that is another really endearing aspect to his character. I'd like to read more sometime about his situation and his life as it progresses. Hope you keep writing and posting here. Thanks - Aidan

Suck-ah!!!!