How to focus on my ambitions and dreams instead of the details of my daily life and trivialities?

Reply Sun 11 Oct, 2020 09:34 am
I am 27 years and a few months old. I have an IT engineer degree and currently I have been working with Helpdesk support for 10 months, which is my first work experience. I feel that I am working in something that doesn't suit my aspirations nor the value of the degree that I obtained, but I was forced to do so by virtue of the fact that I was only studying for the sake of obtaining the certificate and didn't develop myself technically and didn't have sufficient knowledge of the labor market and its requirements.
I don't like the country in which I live and I don't see that I can fulfill my ambitions and dreams in it. Also, by virtue of the prevailing mentality and way of living that doesn't suit me. My dream is to travel and leave the country and the field in which I specialize will entitle me to that, but I don't have the sufficient experience and the necessary competence at present. Every day after returning from work I try to improve my technical skills (I take courses in web and mobile development). The problem is that I haven't made any progress in any area that I am trying to focus on, and I don't find enough enthusiasm to achieve my goals. I feel that my daily life consumes my time and keeps me away from my ambitions. I started to fuse into the details of my daily life, as it takes a large part of my thinking. I feel that I am focused with trivialities instead of my dreams.
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Reply Sun 11 Oct, 2020 09:48 am
Welcome to adult life.

Ambitions to change your life can be drowned out by piles of laundry, an empty stomach, or a crying baby.

Responsibility's a bitch, ain't it?

So, what to do?

Consider what's trivial in your life. And I mean truly trivial. Going to bars, binge watching anything, playing video games should all be trivial, if you do any of them. If you are serious about improving your life, then cutting any or all of those out will give you more time and focus.

It doesn't mean you can never, ever do any of these things, ever, ever again. What it does mean is that you do them a lot less. And by not playing or watching or buying drinks, you'll save money. Open up a savings account and stick that saved money in there. Better yet, make it an investment account (talk to a professional about this; your bank can probably steer you to someone reputable).

Now think of things that are in the middle. Not super earth shattering, but they've got to be done. This means chores, but it also means family obligations (if any) and the like. Make some decisions. What makes more sense: paying someone to do your wash, or taking the time and doing it yourself? Paying someone means less money saved, but if you need time to study or to get ahead at work, then it may be well spent. Same with getting takeout versus cooking.

Family obligations can be tricky, but you may be able to steer them. If your family insists on (for example) Sunday dinner every week, and then calling you on Wednesdays, maybe you can get out of the Wednesday call by telling them you'd much rather tell them in person how your life is going. It's worth a shot. And keep in mind, no matter how much anyone complains, you are under no obligation to go to every single wedding, etc.

Now consider what's truly important in life. Your health. Your relationships. Your finances and success. Your future. These are the most productive places to spend your time and money.

If you don't have enough experience, then you need to be patient and sock your money away while you get it. Ask for more responsibilities at work if you feel you can handle them. It'll make work more interesting and you will get a lot more out of the time.

If the classes you're taking aren't getting you where you need to go fast enough, think about how you can improve that. Independent study? Take another class, or a more advanced one? Something else?

I think you'll find your life can divide into one of these three camps. Don't spend a lot of time and money on the first. Make good choices on how to spend each/both with the second. And really focus your time and money on the third camp.

And look at the long term picture.
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