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any one out there who has a heart please help !!

 
 
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 03:25 pm

hey guys ... im trying to find my dad ..
after i was born my mum and dad split up . my mum told me it was because he had another family ..
the last time i saw him i was aged 6 years old (i think)

i really have the erge to see him again.. so im kinda counting on you guys to help me ...

all i know is his name and birthday .. but i dont know the year he was born in ...

his name is lyle eugene neale
and was born on the same day as me which is 12 of december.. the year i dont know but i think that its either 1971 or 1969..

guys i cant ask my mum about this or im dead meat so i really need your help... if you know any thing then please email me ..
[email protected]

thank you guys .. please take me out of my misery and help me search ..

love sugarsweety
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,140 • Replies: 11
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diagknowz
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2005 10:51 pm
Re: any one out there who has a heart please help !!
Sweet, all you have to do is hire a P.I. to find the info 4 U.

Good luck! :wink:
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jun, 2005 02:50 am
If his dad was born in '69/'71 then sugar sweety is gona be too young to have the money to hire a PI.

I know this sounds simple but I saw an episode of Oprah once on the same subject and the PI said he found certain peopl after making 2 phone calls taken from the loacal phone book.Sometimes its that easy.

Alternatively go to a births/deaths/marriages place which hold records.It may give you an area to look in or an area to start phoning for people under your dads name.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jun, 2005 03:19 am
material girl wrote:
If his dad was born in '69/'71 then sugar sweety is gona be too young to have the money to hire a PI.



I just have this strange feeling that sugarsweety sounds like a "her", instead of a "him", M.G.

But you're right, if his/her Dad WAS born in 69 or 71, then s.s. is probably about seventeen at the most.

S.S.....try remembering everything you can, regarding your Dad. By your email address (which I would seriously think twice about putting on public display, by the way) it looks as if you are in New Zealand. Is your Dad a New Zealander...?....if so, this should cut down your search considerably.
Does NZ have an electoral register that you can gain access to? Quite a few Countries now have this "online", if not, just make enquiries with your local Town Hall about how you can carry out a search for his name.

More importantly, you should consider talking this through with your Mum, if at all possible. If you DID find him, it may inadvertantly lead your Dad into finding out where your Mum now resides, and you dont know the full extent of their previous history.
He may be THE one thing that your Mother does not want back in her life, and she MAY have good reason for this total lack of contact.

If you decide to go ahead anyway, prepare yourself for the possibility that your Dad doesnt want to re-establish any relationship with you, as he has failed to make any contact over the past ten years or so, which could indicate that he has possibly "moved on".

Just take it slow, and think it through properly eh?

Good luck with however you choose to proceed. I hope it turns out O.K. for you.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Jun, 2005 03:50 am
Oops, yes sugarsweety is a girly, sorry.
0 Replies
 
Odd Socks
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 02:41 am
The others have made some excellent suggestions. The phonebook and electoral roll should help you begin. Have you looked through all your family documentation? YOur birth certificate should, at the least, tell you his exact age.

If your family is close, your grandmother ( your mother's mother) and any aunts would probably be the best people to go to before you start looking for him. They will remember what happened better than you would have, and are likely to speak more openly about it than your mother. Parents are the last people to realise that you aren't 7 anymore.

A while back , i needed some information from my father (who i haven't seen in ten years or so) in order to get a passport. They gave me more information than they should legally have given me after i had explained the information. Sneakiness can take you a long way ;P.


If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Often, when you are a still young ( say, 14 or so) your parents will often avoid telling you things about family members to prevent hurting you. For example, he may have a history of abusive behaviour towards your mother or siblings. When you're an adult , your mother is likely to be more comfortable discussing whatever happened in detail.


This isn't nice, but you should be be aware of it before you go hunting for him: If he hasn't made an effort to get in contact with you it's very possible that a) he isn't really that interested in it OR b) he isn't legally allowed to get in contact with you because of something he's done in the past. Most fathers would do everything they could to get in contact with their six year old daughters.

WHat finding him could do, however, is to get you in contact with a grandparent or cousin on your father's side who remembers you from when you were little, or who has always wondered about you.


It might also be worth waiting until you leave home, if it's possible, before you start hunting for him. It'll be almost impossible for you to get in contact with him without your mother finding out and, at the very least, it'll get u in trouble and stir up some of her sh*t. Also, meeting with a strange man alone isn't safe. You might feel some kind of connection to him because you're related, but this is no guarantee that you'd be safe with him.
0 Replies
 
sugarsweety
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 04:31 pm
this s.s reportin..lol
hey guys thanks for ya answers .. most of you say to talk to my mum about it ..
ok so i i=didnt say any thing about my mum ..
if i asked my mum she would give me the biggest lecture ever ...
i know she has contact with him cos he gives her to pay for or something ... and yeah im 15 ....
so yeah ... none of my aunts and uncs will help because they dont want me to have contact with him as he has a daughter and they think i will get hurt by seeing her .. so yeah .. but please keep helping me

love ya guys !!!
sugar sweety

p.s
whats the website to the births marriages and funerals .. that may help me ..
i stil want to find him no matter what . i know that he not a bad person ..
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 05:04 pm
The problem may be that your father's other family might not know about you and your mother. His past affair may still be a secret and if you open that door you might break up his current marriage. Your father apparently knows about you and where you are and is avoiding contact. When you are older you will have the freedom to confront him.

Odds are you mother has spoken to him on the phone. It is not difficult to go through past phone records (they are probably filed in your house somewhere) and see if you notice any new, but repeated numbers. Just think about what you are doing and the possible consequences before taking these steps.
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Jun, 2005 05:24 pm
Acknowledging all the caveats of previous posters, I was able to quickly find the online NZ White Pages. There was no Lyle Eugene Neale, but these are three other possibilities:

Neale L
1/22 Marina Rd Torbay Auckland 0-9-473 9829

Neale L
3/5 Cockburn St Kilbirnie Wellington 0-4-387 7697

Neale L
6 Huia St Tawa Wellington 0-4-232 2561



Good luck and be careful.
0 Replies
 
sugarsweety
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Jun, 2005 06:44 pm
hey thanks
one of the only actuall replies that i can actually use



Piffka wrote:
Acknowledging all the caveats of previous posters, I was able to quickly find the online NZ White Pages. There was no Lyle Eugene Neale, but these are three other possibilities:

Neale L
1/22 Marina Rd Torbay Auckland 0-9-473 9829

Neale L
3/5 Cockburn St Kilbirnie Wellington 0-4-387 7697

Neale L
6 Huia St Tawa Wellington 0-4-232 2561



Good luck and be careful.
0 Replies
 
sugarsweety
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Aug, 2005 02:36 pm
come on guys !
0 Replies
 
talk72000
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Nov, 2005 11:05 pm
Use Google. Then either use Google mapping servive or go to www.mapquest.com to find out where he lives. Be careful not to bite hand that feeds. Your Dad could sending money to pay expenses. You don't want that to end prematurely before you become self sufficient i.e. gainfully employed.
0 Replies
 
 

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