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Love is a transient feeling

 
 
Reply Sun 29 Sep, 2019 07:52 pm
There are people out there who claim love isn't a feeling, and that it's a choice. I disagree with this, based upon my own personal experience. If you google "Love is not a feeling," then you'll come across all sorts of articles that claim love isn't a feeling, and that it's everlasting. I personally think love can only be a transient feeling. I'd, for example, know if I was sad or not. If I wasn't feeling sad, then it would be quite obvious to me that I'm not sad. The same idea applies to love. When I can't feel love, it's quite obvious to me that I'm unable to love anybody or anything.

This leads me to the conclusion that love can only be a feeling. To say that love isn't a feeling, and that it's the choice of doing kind, helpful deeds for your soul mate, would be no different than saying that sadness isn't a feeling, and that it's the choice of going to your soul mate's funeral. Also, there are people who'd say that love is a mindset. For example, if a serial killer performed loving acts to deceive and lure in unsuspecting victims, then people would say that's not love because the serial killer's mindset wasn't a loving one. But, love comes down to either being: 1.) A mindset, or 2.) A feeling. I think it can only be a feeling.

A loving mindset alone can't allow a person to love anybody or anything, just as how a sad or angry mindset alone can't allow a person to be sad or angry. A loving mindset needs to take on an emotional form (i.e. it needs to make a person feel love), so that the person can love. It would be like how a sad or angry mindset needs to make a person feel sad or angry in order for the person to be sad or angry. Unfortunately, there are factors that prevent a loving mindset from making us feel love, such as having a mental illness, having brain damage, or just having stress in your life. An example of a mental illness that prevents us from feeling love would be clinical depression.

That means clinically depressed soul mates can't love one another, no matter what they think, and no matter what kind deeds they do for each other. Of course, there will be moments where these clinically depressed soul mates can love one another, since there are moments where clinically depressed people are able to feel positive emotions, such as love, pride, and joy. But, there wouldn't be that many moments, which means it would hardly be a loving relationship. Lastly, not only do we require positive emotions to love and experience joy, but we also require them to see goodness, beauty, magnificence, and awesomeness in moments, things, situations, works of art, and life itself. That's been my personal experience.
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Sep, 2019 07:54 pm
@MozartLink,
It depends on how you define love:
- if you define it as an act, then it's a choice
- if you define it in part by a connection, then you can choose to engage in things that enhance that connection
- if you define it in part by the chemistry you feel when you think of the person, then you can choose to think about the person, or not
- etc

There is plenty about love that is a choice, but there is also something indefinable about it that defies just choice.
MozartLink
 
  0  
Reply Tue 1 Oct, 2019 11:05 am
@vikorr,
You can certainly define love any way you want to. But, your definition doesn't make it true, since there's a big difference between our personal definitions and reality. For example, you could define god's unconditional love as being hate. But, all you'd be doing is slapping the label "hate" upon his love. It wouldn't change the fact that it's still unconditional love. God could even define his own unconditional love as being hate.

But, again, that wouldn't change the fact that it's still unconditional love. Lastly, there are people who go on heavenly trips to the afterlife during their near death experience. They often report meeting a being of light (god) who's unlike the condemning, judgmental gods of many false, dogmatic religions. This god tells them the most important thing is love, and that we're all here to love one another.

If love is something we could define any way we wanted to, then we might as well say that a serial killer would be accomplishing god's assigned mission of love if the serial killer defined love as harming and torturing innocent lives. God might as well honor and congratulate this serial killer, since god gave him the mission to love, and, boy, did he love a lot by harming and torturing so many innocent people!
Jewels Vern
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 1 Oct, 2019 12:58 pm
This does not belong in a "science and philosophy" category no matter how you define the word. Science is anything you can measure. You can't measure love. Philosophy is anything you make up by your own powers of reasoning. That excludes love. Love is in the "spirit" category, anything you can not measure.
Olivier5
 
  2  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2019 08:06 am
@Jewels Vern,
There's no clear boundaries to philosophy, and love has been approached as a philosophical subject before e.g in Roland Barthes' Fragments.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Oct, 2019 03:27 pm
@MozartLink,
I think you've confused yourself.

I mentioned the definition of love being an issue.

You then said :You can certainly define love any way you want to?...

...and then used by way of example, the phrase unconditional love. From here you essentially talked about the definition of the word unconditional, without touching the definition of love.

Quote:
If love is something we could define any way we wanted to
You haven't done the exercise of attempting to define love, have you.
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Jewels Vern
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Oct, 2019 11:56 pm
@Olivier5,
Yes, you can go around asking people what they think love is, and they will make up something on the spot. It is rather unusual for two of them to say the same thing.

I use the biblical definition from Luke 10:25-37 -- Love is when you are aware of a need and you take care of it.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Oct, 2019 02:05 am
@Jewels Vern,
One can also discuss how different societies and epochs treated love, how religions treat it, etc. It's endless.
Jewels Vern
 
  0  
Reply Mon 7 Oct, 2019 03:08 pm
@Olivier5,
Many/most other societies consider love to be a uniquely Christian concept.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Oct, 2019 05:22 am
@Jewels Vern,
Quote:
I use the biblical definition from Luke 10:25-37 -- Love is when you are aware of a need and you take care of it.
I didn't realise the bible masturbation as love.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Oct, 2019 05:51 am
@Jewels Vern,
Jewels Vern wrote:
Many/most other societies consider love to be a uniquely Christian concept.

I don't think so. Read some non-Christian literature, listen to their songs and read their poems, and you will find love everywhere.

Eg Leyla and Majnun, Pyrame and Thisbé, Eros and Psyche, Ovid's Art of Love... The ancient Egyptians were writing love poems 3000 years ago.
0 Replies
 
 

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