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Thu 26 May, 2005 04:34 pm
Youonmeonyou
pressed halves in the faint light of
. our passion
no....
passion isn't the right word
how about love?
. -Yes, how about love?
. -Is it wonderful to feel complete?
. -Does that small space behind
. your eyes tingle,
. and your heart beat
. against your chest?
. -And sometimes do you laugh
. simply because there's to much
. happiness to contain within one
. person?
and faint light? I don't think that's an
accurate description.more like a
FLOOD. nothing faint and fleeting
and the understanding of two halves...
. amazing
excuse the periods, but aparently you can't use the tab key or indent on here.
the distant lover of an empty shell
cracks the beauty to find the sea
but instead of waves,
flows only sand
through the fingers of a heartless wind
and from the pain of a broken heart
flows a salty sea
to replace a loveless yesturday,
and the knowledge that
with the loss of the beauty comes
the true love that was there
all along
don't like how this looks on here, but take it as the words presented and not the format
I like the idea of run on words to create a picture. Your first line was very efficient. It's also good not to overdo it I think. Or you'll wind up with some of the nonsense poems like I write.
You can create the effect of an indent by varying your capitalization.
i actually really like it
there's something not-very-poetical about it... but it's one of those poems that you could imagine yourself thinking and i like that
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