1
   

I'm Sorry.

 
 
Reply Fri 13 May, 2005 11:27 pm
I'm not always gonna be able to give you what you want
Sometimes i'll try, try and try yet **** it all up..
But I love you and thats all that matters.
So I fucked up the one thing you wanted.
I'll give you what I can and make it all I can to be better.
Help me make this a night to remember..
So I'll turn the lights down
And turn our song on
Dance with my till it's all over..
Take me in your arms
I messed up this time, so heres my sorry

Here you are in my arms pretending like you don't care
Here I am telling you everything I in my heart
Let me try to make this all better,
Let me lead you this one time
Follow me in this twirling embrace
The lights sparkle and mesmerize in your eyes.
The twinkle in your eye has caught my own
Lost so deep in your deep green eyes
These are the moments that last forever
These are the days that should never end
These are my hopes and dreams
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 522 • Replies: 6
No top replies

 
Bekaboo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 12:21 am
Hmmm i like it. Not sure the ****s are necessary - they seem a tad extreme for the rest of the piece. But it's got a nice feel about it
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 10:48 am
I agree with Bek, Here is a very good line:
Quote:
I messed up this time, so heres my sorry

Why not just continue with 'mess'?
0 Replies
 
tear jerked punk
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 11:46 am
Say what? I dont get where you're coming from neo...?
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 05:58 pm
**** = mess?
0 Replies
 
Bekaboo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 May, 2005 04:16 am
Okay that makes more sense now: I think TJP may have thought like me that you were talking about staying in the present tense or something Razz

Okay so now we could have:

"I'm not always gonna be able to give you what you want
Sometimes i'll try, try and try yet mess it all up"

Sounds good

If i'm trying to put something on paper, that i'm later gonna sing with the F word i often just substitute "muck up" for F up...
0 Replies
 
tear jerked punk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 May, 2005 07:36 am
Oh, ok I see it now, I was kinda confused at first too.....
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

What inspired you to write...discuss - Discussion by lostnsearching
It floated there..... - Discussion by Letty
Small Voices - Discussion by Endymion
Rockets Red Glare - Discussion by edgarblythe
Short Story: Wilkerson's Tank - Discussion by edgarblythe
The Virtual Storytellers Campfire - Discussion by cavfancier
1st Annual Able2Know Halloween Story Contest - Discussion by realjohnboy
Literary Agents (a resource for writers) - Discussion by Craven de Kere
 
  1. Forums
  2. » I'm Sorry.
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 05/04/2024 at 01:16:51