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The little girl

 
 
Bekaboo
 
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 06:01 am
I'll paint a picture of the woman I've become
Bitter, twisted, lonely; with aspirin and a gun
Feeling oh so foolish 'bout the things that i have done
Oh please, take me away tonight

I'll paint a picture of a little girl in black
Charcoal rings around her eyes hide the things I lack
Her cold bare feet walking my old forgotten track
Oh please, take me away tonight

I'll paint her tears flowing silvery and blue
Making the flowers grow, as she thinks of you
Biting her lip as she admits what's true
Oh please, take me away tonight

I'll paint the wooded grove, where her body's lain
And her blonde hair that's soaked, by the falling rain
I'll paint her tired face, long and drawn with pain
Oh please, take me away tonight

by Bekaboo
May 8th 2005
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 689 • Replies: 8
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 07:07 am
Ouch.

Are you okay?

Joe(I know you were being poetic, but still...)Nation
0 Replies
 
Bekaboo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 11:58 am
Yeh Joe i'm alright - but thank-you for asking. I write this kinda stuff to make sure I am alright, getting it down on paper tends to clear my head and make it all go back to normal. And like you said, i was being poetic, which gives me license to be particularly vicious Razz
0 Replies
 
stuh505
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 12:27 pm
nice imagery, bakaboo
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 May, 2005 01:29 pm
Cool
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 04:38 am
Very nice!!!
I enjoyed reading this poem very much! Did you write it using one of the classic forms? It looks so structured with refrain and all.

AE
0 Replies
 
Bekaboo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 07:05 am
Nah, i just make up a rhythm in my head and write to it... sometimes I end up writing something that flows... sometimes it's very angular. It's just easier to write that way - and i write so much that i've gradually got better at making stuff fit the rhyme scheme i've chosen
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 08:58 am
Thats really kewl. I still have so much to learn, I hope some day I will be able to say that.

AE
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sat 14 May, 2005 10:40 am
Joe Nation wrote:
Ouch.

Are you okay?

Joe(I know you were being poetic, but still...)Nation

Yeah, what you said.
0 Replies
 
 

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