are there pure relationships between male and female

Every relationship is uniquely and purely whatever it is.
Each one different and changing by the hour,
it's not what we get stuck with, but what we build.

Re: are there pure relationships between male and female


Well, first you might want to ask: "Can there be a pure relationship between a male and a male/ or a female and a female?"

And what is "pure??."

But in any case, I'll stop nitpicking and my opinion is: yes, it can happen, but it is exceedingly rare. And if both are attracted to one another and spend a lot of time alone with one another...well...hmmmm...even rarer...

I find it rather sad, however, that a sexual relationship would be considered "impure."

Re: are there pure relationships between male and female


See, and I just don't know.

Its so nebulous and such a gray area.

I work with many women (I'm male).

And I am friends with most of them. But I do not consider doing anything else with them (intimate, etc).

Not that I am that great of a guy or anything, its just that I do not want to get into that at work. Not at all.

So I see these women a lot, work with them, we have various relationships at work, but we never get intimate, and I do not desire it, and I've got so I don't even fantasize about it anymore...there's plenty of women other places to go there with.

So based on the above info, would you say my relationship with these women I work with is pure?

I mean, I like a lot of them as people, some I feel neutral about, and some I don't care for much. But I would never consider dating any of them. For better or worse, I feel I have them in a different box in my life.

Would you say our relationship is pure? If you qualify the above as pure relationships, then I'd say yes its quite possible to have a pure relationship to the opposite sex.

***

Now, if I started seeing these women after work, we had drinks alone after work, go to movies, dinners, hobbies on weekends, whatever, then it gets a lot more blurry. I think once you start going this direction, it gets a lot harder for the male-female to have a "pure" relationship (assuming I'm defining it the way you are). Its still possible, but I think this kind of friendship is rare; especially if it goes on for years and years. I'm not saying its impossible, and some will call me close minded for stating this. But from what I've saw in my life, this kind of relationship between male and female is rare. I'm sure it happens. But rarely.

Flame away!

The best ones always are! hehe

Impure thoughts was the throw-away we used on the priest when we had to got to confession, but we weren't about to tell the old perv what we had really been doin' for the last week . . .

Gosh, if we are saying that if you're with a member of the opposite sex and having an impure thought about them makes the relationship impure, I think its nearly impossible to have the "pure" relationship. If impure thoughts make the relationship "impure" heck I'd have to say its almost impossible.

And if impure thoughts disqualifies it as being pure, I'll go out on a limb and say the pure relationship is not even possible between 2 members of the same sex.

As some rocker (Billy Idol--"White Wedding"?) said:
"And there is Nothing in this World That is Pure."

Wanting to be close to someone who we like . . . is probably the most pure thing in the universe.

An "impure" relationship would be one where we try to act phony, do what society tells us to, or try to conform to some standard that does not reflect our true nature.

When we corrupt ourselves with the false beliefs or morality, imposed by another, then we are impure. We're no longer ourselves. The only way to have a pure relationship is to be genuine. When two people do exactly what they wish and appreciate each other completely, there is nothing more pure and true.

Just be yourself, and the right things will happen.

Good points, CodeBorg. I agree.

But: What about the serial killer or pedophile? What if they really believe what they want to do is right and pure, and what they are doing is right? And they can say "Heck with society's standards, I'm doing what I feel is right and being myself."

We have one very famous singer on trial today for such things. One can say many bad things about him.

But one thing I'll say: All appearances indicate that he really feels that what he (might have done) is pure and it represents pure love or feeling...

it seems like he doesn't really feel like it would be wrong...?

If that really is their true nature, then go for it!
Be open and honest and communicate that to everyone around us,
and the right things will happen.

Codeborg is the purest soul here amongst us.

Sweet posts, simple words, meanings deeper than Dagmarka's eyes.

Do not deny it.

Codeborg is the purest soul amongst us.


Sunbeams blush when reflecting off of Codeborg's being.


Joe(I mean it. Shut up. I mean it.) Nation

Blasphemy!



Well then, it could be argued that maybe its only impure then if one wanted to act on it and go for it and consumate it, but they didn't--thus they are hiding their true self--thus theyare only impure if they don't go for it. ??

Interesting. One can go either way on the whole deal as to what is pure?

Joe - It's a deeply philosophical question, isn't it? :-D ROFL!


Extra medium - Maybe it's not the man and woman who are impure,
but the way society judges and manipulates them with doctrine, guilt, and shame.
It locks them into commitments and behaviors that are disrespectful and just don't really work.

Do you equate "pure" with "Platonic"?

I have assumed, and the successive responses seem to confirm the assumption, that it means non-sexual.

Given Plato's fondness for adolescent boys, i try to avoid the use of the term "Platonic."

ha ha ha ha--ROTFL.

Yes.

Why is everyone so upset with Michael Jackson's Platonic relationship with young boys?

It seems like whatever it turns out to be, whether he is guilty or not guilty, the relationships were "Platonic." Not sure if they were platonic though...

In any event, I must say when I think of a "platonic relationship," the bar in my mind to meet that requirement seems a Lot lower than the bar to meet what I would deem a "pure relationship."

"Pure" is a tough word. Perhaps I am too much of a perfectionist.

"Pure" means almost perfect to me...which I am not sure exists... well on the one hand you can say everything is pure, on the other hand one could say nothing is pure. "Pure" is a tough concept.

Semantics. Dam*.

Ok, perhaps the heck with "pure and/or platonic" for a moment, what do you all think about:

"Can a man and woman become really good close friends without having sex or without having the desire for sex with one another interfere with the friendship? Can they ever be as close of friends as male-male or female-female friendships?"

I mean lets assume they do have those desires for one another once in awhile. Can they put it aside and still keep a meaningful deep relationship as friends, as deep as male-male or female-female friendships?

I've had a few decent friendships with the opposite sex, but I must admit none as close as my closest same-sex friendships.

Anyone else have many very tight "just friendships" with the opposite sex?

(And the funny thing is on this--I don't think it counts if you are gay. What I mean is-- it might be easier for a gay guy or girl to have friendships with the opposite sex than with their own sex on average? Really going out on a limb here...not sure...may be way off on this?_

Sonnet XVII (Pablo Neruda)
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

I love this poem because in it Neruda describes perfectly a relationship I once had that seemed as if it happened because there was no other option - there were no expectations- just happiness that it "was". It felt pure to me (though it wasn't platonic).

I think you all misunderstand a little bit. what I sai pure relationship is . I think I should said pure friendship , that will be better .
I didn't mean sexual relationship .
I meant when one male and other female become good friends , don't they never fall in love with each other even they got their own girl friend and boy friend already./???

Sorry ai - I have had a lot of "pure" friendships with males. For some reason I tend to relate better to males (although I do also have several really strong female friendships). But the majority of my friends have been males.

My best friend, Danny, I met when I started taking piano lessons from his mother when we were both eight years old. We bonded over a love for the Stones - he is an amazing guitarist who can match Keith Richards lick for lick - and a shared sarcastic, rebellious sense of humor. When his mom burned his Stones records (and I mean literally burned them ) his comment was that "she should just go ahead and run for the office of God - on the republican ticket of course". We wrote each other through college - I visited him when he spent a summer working in Yellowstone - he's visited me over here. He's married with five kids and still living in Jersey where we grew up. I live vicariously through him - experiencing what it's like to live somewhere your whole life and put down roots- and he lives vicariously through me - moving from place to place and traveling the world. Never any mention of sex or romance between each other although I was the first person he told when he lost his virginity (which he did first) - but I think we'd give a kidney if the other needed it - I know I'd do anything for him and he'd do the same for me. Is that what you're looking for?

I have a lot of male friends today - but most I realize are unavailable to me (committed to other people) and I respect that. So those friendships stay pure as well. :wink: