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Sun 1 May, 2005 06:40 pm
Melting mental substance,
Subconscious and blind trance,
Watching the stars dance,
Trees peeking over my shoulder,
The fire burns colder,
Marching like a paraplegic soldier,
Slowly pulling away.
Conversing with the growing shrink,
Questioning me of the thoughts I fail to think,
In my chair I begin to sink,
The leather engulfs me,
His ramblings set the dreams free,
Much better closed do my eye's see,
Falling away.
Embracing the abominable,
Walking on the bar stool,
Waking up my inner fool,
Shadows mock my every move,
Synchronizing out of groove,
The razors so gracefully sooth,
Cutting much away.
I think to be appreciated this poem needs slow reading... it doesn't have a strong enough meter to go da dum da dum da dum along in your head. I still think you'd be better off writing prose, or something without a rhyme scheme... Anyway there are a couple of really good lines in there "marchng like a paraplegic soldier", "the thoughts I fail to think" and "the razors so gracefully sooth" are some of my favourites