One liners

oh no
Its been almist 15 seconds, i though I'd add another (from The Simpsons).

Homer (on the phone): "Sorry, Moe, I gotta go, my stupid wiener kids are listening."
Bart & Lisa: "We're not wieners!"
Homer: "Thenwhy are you dressed like that?"
Bart & Lisa: "They made us!"
Homer: "oh they made us, that's wiener talk!"

30 seconds
Bar quote (from my mate W Pilster):

"A guy walks into the front door of a bar and asks if he can buy a beer. The bar tender says no mate, you're too drunk, get out. The guy goes out, and walks into the side door of the bar. The bartender says, sory mate, you're way too drunk to get a beer. The guy walks out, and walks into the back door of the bar. The bartender says mate, this is the third time, get out, you're too drunk. The drunk says, gee mate, how many bars do you work in?"