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Fri 29 Apr, 2005 09:32 pm
Well I am the kind of person that will not let my feelings show to the people I care most about. Even if you are not this kind of person I am sure you will definitely understand this poem and have most likely been in the position a time or two. So here it is...
Butterflies
Excuse the butterflies in my stomach,
While I find out why my head is so thick,
I swear I left the words on the tip of my tongue,
I apologize for seeming so high strung,
It is just I have a frog lodged in my throat,
And a pencil scrawled script hidden in my coat,
I have rehearsed this act time and time again,
In front of the mirror and my mind within,
Just an hour ago I had it planned so perfect,
A group of words and a smile you couldn't reject,
Well now it seems both are a thought of the past,
A plan I knew would never have a chance to last,
I'm very sorry for wasting your precious time,
I'm glad pleading the fifth is not labeled a crime,
It was the butterflies who got me all fluttered,
And the frog who drownded the words just muttered,
But since I obviously have nothing more to say,
I guess I'll let this be good bye and go about my way.
I remember this feeling. Go ahead and just ask her if she wants to go for coffee.
I despise the taste and smell of coffee though.
I know that is beside the point but I wanted to say it anyway. At this point it is actually a little bit more than the butterflies that are holding me back. This is my senior year of highschool and I am moving a good 4+ hours away so I really don't want to start anything here. I should have said something a long time ago though.
Drownded is not a word, the conjugation you are looking for is drowned.
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This is my favorite of the ones I've responded to so far. It's cliche, it's crude, but it comes from the heart...and your feelings and emotions come across in the poem.
99white99 wrote:I despise the taste and smell of coffee though.
I know that is beside the point but I wanted to say it anyway. At this point it is actually a little bit more than the butterflies that are holding me back. This is my senior year of highschool and I am moving a good 4+ hours away so I really don't want to start anything here. I should have said something a long time ago though.
In that case:
You say you're leaving in 4 hours and haven't said it yet? You have nothing to lose! Say it!
I'm leaving in about a month and a half, I will be four hours away lol.
Thanks stuh.
I like it
Like the others say, it's crude in places.... but actually i think it's my favourite to date - i'm enjoying your poetry please keep posting!!
I think you could let go: it doesn't need the rhyme scheme - although some of the imagery you've created to make a rhyme had me smiling
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