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Sat 23 Apr, 2005 01:09 pm
If heaven was a mile away
I would pack my bags and leave for there is no reason to stay
Why should I think twice?
I would rather fly the kite
So I can get there early and stay the night
Life is suffering
Life is change
Can't expect any guarantee
That why I would rather take the flight
Let God into my life
But I wonder for I am a human being
Is it real, is it amazing, or is it just another human creation
Words, so beautiful, make you think about so much
You feel like you are in another world with one touch
When you get on the mic let these creations take flight
Now I thinking twice because If heaven was a mile away
I sorry to say
But I would rather live on earth today
Spend all my days here
Yes where I was born
Why should I be ashamed?
**** all these sayings, all these quotes
I don't know if they are fake or real
So why should I take a chance on something so unreal
Hearing all these preachers, hearing all this hype
But the thing is I never saw it, never experienced the flight
So what am I suppose to think?
Am I suppose to have faith or eliminate
For I was born clean, free and no sins
The balance has changed me though
I both good and evil for I am able
Yes am able to create, to kill, to anticipate
Someone or something has created us to do this for what reason
No one knows why
So tell me what reason I have to leave earth tonight?
Hmmmmm i like the fact that this progresses from saying "why should i stay?" to "why should i go?" It's kind of a bit of a journey. It could just be my mood, but generally i read prose quite slowly unless it's written in a 'fast way'. Towards the end this just snowballed in my head even though each line is quite long.
Up until "i would rather live on earth today" your writing sounds a bit more mature than it does afterwards... i can't put my finger on it. Maybe it sounds more like a narrative than your thoughts... like i said i'm not sure.
There's a couple of grammar errors in there (That's why - like 9 - i think you just mis-typed it!!) but probably not enough to merit a Bella Dea grammar check
Well done, keep writing!!
I agree with Bekaboo, however I see a deeper meaning and perhaps a troubling situation which prompts this writing. I hope I am wrong. God bless.
Dog,
I just printed out your poem and taped it to the
wall next to my desk, so I could mull it over for a day.
So you have no choice in the matter. The spirit of your
words are here to stay, and there's nothing you can do
about it for a while, regardless, anyways.
Get on with it and write something else too
before I get bored of heaven.
"Live on earth. . ." Wasn't that the opportunity Adam and Eve muffed? One of the really distasteful things about the concept of heaven is the dying. I really don't think I would like that.
what is life
Quote:Life is a game of tricks and tales
All tricks are hard not to follow for it
Lead to what we think we want; when really all we desire are in tales
And no it's not riches and wants it's happily ever after
To the eye it seem that this will never be achieved
Even though it already was trillions of years ago
Well You see what I think life is. What is it to you and we all can develpoed on what life truly is. Such a question ain' it just can figure it out but I most. Life is just to much for words to explain but we have words for it.
Yes dog4life,
We have 'words' for it, and we have emotions for it, but we cannot say we see it clearly. We feel it in our spirit, not our body. Often the things we feel in our body and mind are very conflicting to our spirit. It is confusing to the young, but becomes clearer with discernment through the HOly Spirit and prayer.
Why? do things have to be the way they are? It is high above my understanding. But I take the way of the Word, my strength is for but today. I want to live this day, as though it were my last in this body.
I really DO BELIEVE we will have an eternal life, and our spirit will get a NEW body, just as HE promised.
Your prose depicts your humanity, it is easy to relate to. I enjoyed reading it, for it stimulates thought. I encourage you to keep writing and keep seeking answers.
my return
what's up guys I'm sorry for not putting any new post up. I don't have internet and that why I can't put none. BUt i am in my man's house and we just were ******* around writing. Your might not like. I mean it not wag or anything. It that it just a writing will i just ******* around.
Let's get married
Dassel in distress
You make me stressed
Make me want to put a bullet in your chest
But I won't pursue it
I just won't do it
Why because you are my bitch
You are the one that make me flinched
You give me butter files because you are the ****
Not once did I ever think
Ever thought I would fall in love
But once I saw you it was heaven with one touch
Never thought I be the one to make you blush
But here I am throwing away old pictures of my ex's and watching them flush
Because it is only you I want to touch
I want to see you make a fuss
Just seeing your face makes me want to roll a Dutch
So I can be in ecstasy as I puff
I want to live with you until I turn into dust
Can't you see it should only be me you trust?
So will you married me so we can both lived until dust
Don't give it a thought, let's do this in a rush
Trust me I won't ever flirt
I don't want to ever see you get hurt
So let's get married and make this thing work
Ok i will honestly say right away that i much prefer the other one... this is kinda more like the rap that i tend to stay away from... I guess i can't really relate to this kind of writing
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