Advice

Re: Advice
Ray

I have learned never give any advices. We are all different, with our personalities, beliefs.
Imagine you ask me: "do you think I shall accept that job that was offered to me?". And imagine I say: "Yes, that is a good job".
But "a good job to whom"? To me, of course. But the job is for you, not for me.
So, after 2 months of hell you quit that job that had nothing to do with your personality, and you say to me: "you are an idiot! because of you I had the worst 2 months of my life. I should punch your nose for that!".
And you are right.

When someone asks me for an advice - except if it is a technical question, like the meaning of some legal concept - I answer: if it was me, I would do (this or that). But I am not you. You must make your own decision according to what you wish and like.

(I don't know but there are too much punching in my nose since yesterday philosophical punch of TheThinkFactory. Perhaps Ciracuz, if he is reading this, can explain that fixation in my nose).

don't provide advice, provide good information in the hopes of making the choice easier to understand.

Instead of recommending a job because you enjoyed it, give facts and let the person decide based on his own understanding.

The alternative is to persuade the person that your understanding is better than his in this, and to make him trust your judgement instead of his own. That is called giving advice.

Good point Cyracuz - I think I might add one thing.

Give good information and tell them what you might do. This gives a benchmark without telling that what to do.

TTF

Good points, I'll be sure to keep that in mind whenever a friend consults me.

I help a person figure out the facts of their situation (if they ask). I don't advise them on what to do, though if they know what they want to do I'll sometimes help them figure out how.

Advice should always be given when requested. There's nothing good about witholding information (advice) or one's opinion (advice).

advice brings into play the essence of a good teacher.
A good teacher provides the tools, and information by which the student can 'learn'.
So is it with advice; one simply provides as full a spectrum of information as possible to allow the individual to make an informed choice.

[one can only offer your own experience, for others to gain from.]

"Too bad that all the people who really know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair".
GEORGE BURNS.

O.K., so I should just say "You're on your own, buddie."

we are all 'on our own'.

[but that does not prevent us from linking hands]

Waiting to see if I get any good advice here, Ray.

Book marking.

Letty

I am not Ray. But I will give you the only advice I would haver done to anyone.

DON'T ACCEPT ANY ADVISE. AND, MOST IMPORTANT, NEVER ACT ACCORDING TO SOMEONES ELSES ADVISE.

(I don't know why but I suspect you already had that idea).

Val, I listen; nod; then do what I would have done from the beginning. I suppose advice and suggestions are quite different from one another, but the end result is about the same.

Letty, then you're the kind of woman it's impossible to please..(?). :wink:

Unfortunately, Cyracuz, I am too easy to please, and that is why I have learned to become a little more cautious concerning well meaning advice.

I'm now thinking, that there are times for advices, and times to avoid making them. If a person is about to fall into a trap, and you see it, of course you would give an advice to the person to not fall into the trap.
However, if the person is consulting you about a career path, you should not give them an absolute advice, because you don't know all the factors that he should consider when choosing the job. He might be more into jobs that make more money, etc, etc. So just tell them to research his career options.

I agree, Ray, there are times to give and times to withhold advice. Balance and situationalism.

Advice to the love lorn: "Get over it."

Letty, in my book there's no such thing as too easy to please...

...unless you meant too easy to give pleasure, but I don't think that... :wink: