Mixed metaphors and other stupid sayings.

Andrei decided to quit his drug habit and go hot monkey.

I mix metaphors like a cement mixer. But, not so much on purpose.

I have a few problems with this. Firstly, cement mixers don't mix metaphors--they mix cement.

I'll give you some credit, and assume you meant, "like a cement mixer mixes cement," but of course that process is deliberate and calculated (it is the purpose of their design), and you say you do not do so on purpose. So either you do not recognize the purpose of a cement mixer, or your analogy is somewhat like if I described my hair as "As green as a leaf, only not so green, and much more brown," or something to that extent.

Finally, seeing that yours was such a horrible metaphor (technically a simile), I realized that your terrible, terrible statement is incidentally accurate.

ooooookay.

I guess Andrea was trying to get that turkey off her back.

Good for her.

Because you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her gather any moss.

You can make a tree drink water, but you can't lead her to it.

You give me three days, and some strong rope, and I'll make it gather moss.

Horse gathered moss is worth two in the bush.

And never count your chickens in one basket.

Too many stock cubes spoil the broth.

Going nowhere: Parked out in the passing lot.

You buttered your bread...now lie in it.

I don't need a weatherman to know which side my bread is buttered on.

There's no such thing as a free breakfast.

A miss is as good as 5280 feet.

Every dog has a silver lining.
Behind every silver lining there is a cloud.
A Bush in the hand is worth very little.
A fool and his money make strange bedfellows.

Don't be tricked by the storm in the calm of an eye!

You can lead a horticulture. . .

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

if you can't take the heat get out of the frying pan