Newly divorced woman flirting with much younger man

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Hello,
as the caption states I am a newly divorced older woman. I am interested in a much younger guy (much younger but not illegal). I have not had to flirt in a long long time (married for 18 years). I am super shy around him because he is so gorgeous. I am too shy to talk to him. I have made serious eye contact with him which I feel like he reciprocates. The problem is that my ex is around when I see him (it's at our kids activities) so I don't want to make it extremely obvious. I let myself go after I had my kids but I have lost over 50 pounds so far and so many people have told me that I am beautiful recently. I feel better about myself but my body is not great (stretch marks and loose skin from pregnancy and then weight loss). I think that this guy is in great shape. How do I flirt with him? Is he going to care that my body isn't perfect? I'm obviously not looking for anything serious (probably just physical). I am still continuing to lose weight and I know I will keep looking better. I would really like to get this guy's attention and sleep with him. I felt so bad about myself and my marriage for such a long time that I want a younger guy to make me feel sexy and wanted. Thanks in advance for the advice!

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Hi Angela
I'm a 70 year old male. I've been married twice (both good women, both still close friends). And from my later teen years through to the present, I've had many relationships outside the marriages, mostly with ladies about my age but not all.

I wish there were some easy tips I could pass on that would help you fulfill this desire you have for the handsome young fellow but one just never knows if one's own feelings and desires will be reciprocated in kind. I'm afraid you just have to take the risk of being more forward. You really only need a minute to pull him aside and say, "I'd like to take you out to dinner one evening" or some such. It might not work but that's the chance we take in any instance of serious flirting and each of us, no matter who, is going to get a negative response sometimes. But for sure, there will be men out there would like to have a physical relationship with you so do't give up.

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@angela1234,

Please choose a different venue to re-find your sexuality. Your kid's activities is not the place to have rumors spread about you or having to deal with an x who sees it.

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@neptuneblue,

I'm just being honest. I didn't ask for judgements. What if he is the person I am meant to be with? So I'm just never supposed to be happy again because I have to worry about what other people think? The guy in this situation can do whatever he wants...but the woman has to think about the impact on everyone else. I've done nothing for myself for the past 18 years. It's time for me to focus on ME. Hey how about good for you for having the guts to divorce when so many others cheat? Or hey great job losing the weight? No it's all negative. A woman isn't allowed to just have a physical relationship with a guy? What year are we in??? (Obviously she deleted her post after I replied...).

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@blatham,

Thank you for the advice! I know that I need to be more confident and I will try to be!

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@angela1234,

Being newly divorced, you're not seeing the big picture though. You're acting like this guy's your soul mate but reality is he's going to be a rebound situation. You need time to heal from your divorce and trust me, you don't need your kid's activities to find sex.

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How much is “much younger”?

Sounds like you are single and ready to mingle - but why chose a “boy toy”? He will see you as a cougar.

I know it’s difficult to find single males in the age 30 - 50 bracket. All the good ones are married. The single ones often have baggage that needs to be noticed - kids, drug or alcohol use, finances, etc.

There are honorable singles sites to use, and friends are a good way to find a friend.

(At age 62, I found myself a widow ready to date and started something with a sexy looking widower 12 years younger. (I didn’t know his age- he had grey hair, I figured he was older) The sex was great, but after that the interests and conversation wained. He found someone his own age and married 3 months after the last time we saw each other.

My advice? Enjoy your crush from afar. Look elsewhere.

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@angela1234,

As I noted, I'm 70 and I still wage that confidence battle. Almost all of us do. So don't feel badly about that.

Keep at your project here with this fellow or other fellows. You'll get there. Sex and companionship are worth the internal turmoil. And my life experience is that by far the majority of people are of good heart. I'm rooting for you.

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@angela1234,

Such prudes on this site. There is nothing wrong with starting something with a younger man. There is nothing wrong with meeting people at your kids activities (single parents don't get that much time to socialize apart from their kids). The other single parents at these events are your peers. If you want it, there is nothing wrong with going for it.

Flirting is pretty easy for women... you start by talking with him, laughing at his jokes. You can ramp it up by either touching him on the shoulder, or making coy suggestions. If you want to be direct... simply ask him "hey, would you like to have coffee sometime".

Of course, there is no guarantee that he will respond, but there is nothing wrong with trying. And you might get a relationship (and good sex) out of the deal.

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@maxdancona,

I am also surprised at some of these responses.

The poster is a single grown consenting adult and as she posted so is this man (even if he is younger). I see nothing wrong with this (and I consider myself somewhat more conservative than many people on here).

As long as your children are not involved and it wouldn't impact them - if you are both willing to have a relationship even just physical then what should stop you? Who cares if someone else thinks you are a cougar? As long as you are both on the same page and clear on your expectations.

I would avoid flirting with him around your ex and your children.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

Oh geez Max, how is it prudish to not **** where you eat?

Go to a bar, join a club or even use Tindr, but leave your kids and your x out of out.

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@maxdancona,

Thank you so much for your kind words! At least there are some good people on here!!!

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@neptuneblue,

You obviously have no idea how busy I am. I work 50-70 hours a week and take care of my kids. I don't have time to go out. I will pull this guy aside and ask him out of that's the right thing to do. That's all I wanted to know. I didn't ask to be crucified for wanting to have a little fun. You don't know what I need

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@PUNKEY,

For the record...I'm 40. He's 25. Yes I want my cub. There's nothing wrong with that.

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@Linkat,

Thank you!

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A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.

Cougar cougar burning bright,
In the playground kids alright;
Surreptitious hands or eyes,
Can frame thy sexual surprise.

In what distant deeps or thighs.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

With profound apology to William Blake The Tyger.

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@angela1234,

Well girl, go for it then.

Brush up on the latest music and electronic gadgets. Pillow talk will be a challenge.

(My daughter’s (50) friends are always hitting on my grandson (25). He just laughs at the attention.)

Let us know how this all turns out.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

Thanks for the support!!! I really appreciate it!

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@angela1234,

Quote:

For the record...I'm 40. He's 25. Yes I want my cub. There's nothing wrong with that.

Quite right, there isn't anything wrong with this difference. Pay no heed to anyone suggesting there is. And certainly pay no heed to anyone who uses the derogatory term "cougar".

1 Reply

@blatham,

blatham wrote:

Quote:
For the record...I'm 40. He's 25. Yes I want my cub. There's nothing wrong with that.

Quite right, there isn't anything wrong with this difference. Pay no heed to anyone suggesting there is. And certainly pay no heed to anyone who uses the derogatory term "cougar".

Derogatory? I am a bit older than her and if someone called me cougar I'd take it as a complement. Maybe I just don't know the total meaning of it? But I take it as a hot older woman that likes younger men - what the heck is wrong with that?

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