Newly divorced woman flirting with much younger man

Agreed. I planned on being discrete. That's why I came here...for advice. Not criticism.

I don't really even see the need for discretion.

I started dating again (after my divorce) when my daughter was 8 or 9. I told my daughter I was dating, my daughter was free to ask me questions. I was open that this new woman was my girlfriend... and that it didn't mean anything else and that her mom was her mom. She got that just fine. My daughter and my girlfriend hung out a couple of times... it was fine. I ended that relationship. It was still fine.

Kids can understand just fine. And ex-spouses are ex-spouses. I think people worry too much, and my daughter at least prefers to know what is going on rather than having me do things behind her back. That way she doesn't have to guess and can talk openly if she is worried about something.

My current girlfriend has younger kids. My girlfriend introduced me as her "friend" and her seven year old immediately figured it out and announced that I was her mom's boyfriend and demanded a confirmation. It was funny and fine and everyone is OK.

Parenting is important. Dating is important. It is best to live your life openly.

That is quite apparent.

There are benefits to not hiding normal parts of your life from your kids.

My daughter gets to see how I act in a relationship. She is starting the process of having relationships herself (she is now a teen), and the more she can see adults having normal respectful relationships, the better. I talk to her about what a healthy relationship is, I want her relationships to be equal, and respectful and based on good communication.

When I am with my girlfriend my daughter gets to see this in action. The way I treat my girlfriend is the way I want my daughter to be treated and the way I want her to treat her partners.

On a somewhat tangential note, a couple of years ago my daughter was looking for something and found a box of condoms. She thought that was hilarious... "dad! you have sex!". I was a little annoyed with her that she had gone through my stuff, but I was kind of glad that she found them.

If I am going to teach my daughter to have safe sex, what better way is there for her to learn then by example?

OP doesn't want a relationship, she wants to ****.

Not that I have anything against that other than it should not involve her kid or her x. A boy toy is great -- have at it. It just doesn't need to be an older sibling of her kid's teammate. It causes undue stress and issues.

Tindr or AdultFriendFinder is totally appropriate. Not stuffing it in friend's, x's or kid's faces.

There are do's and don'ts of a newly divorced person. Discretion is the better part of valor.

Wow you are bitter. Give it up.

Exactly Max!!! But apparently we are doing our kids wrong according to miss know it all

I'm trying to help you. Regret isn't easy to live down.

You aren't helping. This struck a nerve with you somehow. People are going to talk about other people no matter what. That's just how it is.

I choose to not have that happen to me.

Your mileage may vary.

Good for you

Maybe you should re-think how this is going to go. And understand just how bad it can get.

I never once asked whether I should do this because it is not an issue. I don't appreciate you bringing it up again and again. Leave it alone. If I make a mistake...oh well I'm human. That's on me. Not everyone is perfect

It is hard for us to judge what or what not for the poster to tell her children or how discrete. It depends on the kids sges, it depends on the kids themselves, it depends on the dynamics of where they live.

I took the conservative approach to be discrete as depending on all these it could be embarrassing, uncomfortable or just plain weird for the kids. Us parents are embarrassing enough just existing forget about dating Johnny’s older brother.

Some kids would shrug it off without a thought and others it would be “devastating “ to their social life.

The poster if a caring parent would consider how discrete or how much to do tell their kids would be best.

Well, you DID ask for advise, so...

Don't do it.

It will cause issues. And you don't want that.

Actually the poster asked how to flirt with this young man... not other advice... sorry but not sure I can advice.

I “trapped” my younger husband by spying him across a crowded dance floor announcing to my friend I would get him to ask me to dance. It worked o just needed to look at him and smile and he came over and asked me to dance.

But ten your circumstances are a bit different and that was over 20 years ago.

So...

You didn't ask your kid's teammates older sibling out for a ****? While your x watched?

Surprising...

I am curious Neptune, do you have any experience with dating as a single parent? You seem to have very strong opinions, are they based on your personal experiences?

Absolutely.

Yes I got your "advice"...3 pages ago. I didn't ask for it then and I don't want to hear about it now. I'm going to do it. You don't know that it will cause issues. And you don't know what I want. Drop it please.
There is a right way and a wrong way to talk to people. Others disagreed with me but spoke respectfully and I appreciate their opinion. You are demanding and disrespectful.