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Wed 16 Mar, 2005 06:50 am
A million little desires,
Surge in my heart,
Making me conscious,
Of their birth and growth.
Then with a sudden turbulence,
They well up in my eyes,
Flowing through the channels,
Of my once formed smiles.
Making me conscious ,
Of their untimely death.
I like the idea. The lines
Flowing through the channels,
Of my once formed smiles.
are particularly nice, however the sudden end confuses me a bit as you seem to be writing in verses but the last is suddenly half the length.
However, as I said, I like the idea. The interpretations will be varied and unique, which makes it interesting.
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