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I look ugly, I don’t feel confident 😢

 
 
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 11:39 am
When I started middle school, I didn’t care what I looked like and others looked like that much. But a boy in my year told me I look ugly and fat compared to my friends. I know that my friends are pretty and they r popular, but I never thought of myself as ugly. I thought I look “normal” compared to others.
At first I thought he was only joking. But I started to look at myself in the mirror and found out that I was “real” ugly. I have a round face, small eyes, weird eyebrows, flat nose and I’m fat. I started to feel less comfortable near my friends. My friends look like models when I’m just a ugly potato who follows them around. I get judged more and more by classmates because of my looks and I’m not even sure if my friends really like me or not. Is there a way to get confident and not depressed even though I get compare to pretty classmates often.
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,234 • Replies: 4
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 12:24 pm
@Uglypatatoe ,
First thing to tell you is that middle school is the absolute worst time for body and social confidence for everyone. Even the pretty girls. It's also the worst time because it's when people are most judgmental.

I know it's really hard to ignore that kind of talk. I still remember being on the receiving end of it, and I was last in middle school a good 40 years ago.

So let's talk about some things you can do, right now:
  • Talk to your doctor and find out if you really are overweight. Let your doctor decide if you really are. And whether you are or you aren't, talk to him or her about good foods to be eating. I'm not talking about dieting at all. It's more a question of making better choices. Because even if it turns out that you're as skinny as a pencil, you still need to eat right. It will always be a great idea to eat right. BTW, I know it can sometimes be hard to eat right in social situations. My best advice in that area is to decide on something you'll have and stick with just that. So if your friends go to McDonald's, decide to get the kiddie cone (which is actually a really good calorie choice) or a salad or even a side of fries but make that it. Eating beforehand can help a lot, too.
  • And at the same time, it'll also always be a good idea to get some exercise. It can be walking. The first time you exercise (if you weren't before), you might have some pain. That does go away but be aware it can happen. If you haven't been exercising, then ease into it. This means no ultramarathons to start! Instead, it means starting with, no lie, walking around the block (assuming your area is safe). Try going out walking a bit with your friends. You've all got phones with cameras, right? Then how about heading to a local park and walking around and taking pictures? It's not super-fast walking but you are still out there.
  • Consider what you're good at. We're all good at something or other. Me? I write. But here's a secret between you, me, and the internet - I'm a horrible designer. If you can draw pictures then I bow down to you because I can't! Whatever you're good at, can you cultivate that? If you're good at drawing, ask your folks if you can take an art class or just get nicer materials so you can create. If you're good at math then see if there's a math club to join. If you're an awesome listener, then hang out with your friends and let them know they can come to you if they have troubles and you'll listen without judgment and won't reveal their secrets. That's an exceptional friend right there.
  • Do you wear makeup? Do your folks allow you to? At a certain point, girls in middle school or thereabouts start wearing makeup. If you're unsure of your skills in that area, talk to one of your beautiful, model-like friends. Ask her - how can I ...? Same thing with your eyebrows (mine were seriously thick in middle school so I hear ya on that). Ask, how do you think I should work with them? Maybe a little plucking and shaping will help. I've got an eyebrow brush now; it's awesome. So find what you like and what you feel works.
  • Good clothes that fit well will always make you look better than clothes that don't. Can you get yourself one or two new pieces? A good pair of jeans, or a shirt you really like, something like that? You've got the summer, so you can take your time and be choosy. Go with your friends and make a day out of it.
  • And as for that boy, the truth is, he's an immature jerk. I know it's hard to ignore someone like that, but he's got flaws, too. And it's not his job to zero in on yours or anyone else's.
And hang in there. Middle school, thank God, doesn't last forever.
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najmelliw
 
  2  
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 01:00 pm
@Uglypatatoe ,
Hello there.

Generally speaking, everything jespah says tends to be spot on in these sort of things. However, when I read your story, I couldn't help but think of this movie, which is called 'the DUFF'. I don't generally give the advice to watch a movie when a serious question is asked, but given what you said... Well, you seem to have a lot in common with the hero, also a girl who feels she's the ugly one in her group of friends that look like models.

Watch it someday. I would certainly not advise you to draw life lessons from movies, but perhaps this might give you a chuckle or two(I think it's a rather funny movie actually. It scored 71% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is pretty decent considering the genre, really.)
0 Replies
 
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 01:33 pm
@Uglypatatoe ,
Quote:
I’m not even sure if my friends really like me or not.

This statement makes no sense.
If they are your friends, they obviously like you.
If they didn't like you, why would they be your friends?
Friends like each other.
That's the reason friends are friends with each other.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Sat 7 Jul, 2018 03:18 pm
@Uglypatatoe ,
And what does this boy look like compared to others you have seen at school?

I bet, he either thinks he is "hot" or he's "not" ...

You know they say that boys take 4 years longer to develop mentally than a woman, which makes him quite immature yes?

And, what do immature people do? Everything they can to make themselves laugh at the expense of others.

You were fine before a ridiculous comment was made . Your "friends" must see you on the inside as well as the outside, you are viewing them on the outside not the inside. Or else you would see why you are all friends.

So, step away from that mirror unless you are prepared to experiment with your hair, make-up, experiment in smiling at yourself daily and seeing your own beauty. And, quit listening to "one person" who enjoys putting someone down for his own satisfaction that obviously no one else agrees with or else you would be telling us 10 boys said the same.
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