A Faraway Land (Revised)

"I'm not even sure what day it is anymore. The star studded sky tells me that it is a moonless night. The chills of the air suggest that winters are harsh in this part of the world. But I cannot say with certainty where am I or why.

It seems a dream to me, a horrible nightmare. Each night I pray that I shall wake up in the morning to find myself in my cozy bed, in the comfort of my home. But I wake up at dawn to face the reality that I have long lost my home. It has been several years now, but it feels like yesterday.

It was a usual Monday afternoon for most people around the globe. But in my town things were seemingly ugly. I stayed in the army quarters, close to the border. My father was army personnel and had been working in this town for the past one year. The news had reported some intrusion from foreigners across the border. Who they were or what they intended to do was not very clear. My mother sat watching the news that day while my father was in his office, busy executing commands from his seniors.

I was in my room reading a book. Suddenly something felt amiss outside. I slid the curtains and the horrific sight that stood before my eyes, paralyzed me completely. There were several men staring into my eyes with angry glares. The weapons in their hand told me that they were terrorists from across the border. A million questions were flowing in my mind simultaneously, locking out all my senses and the muscles of my body.

Before I could react, they were already in my room with a dozen others outside. From the next room all I could hear were the yells of my mother. She was in trouble and so was I. her screams faded in the background as those men dragged me outside, and pushed me onto the rough ground. After that I could hear the deafening sounds of bullets being shot and feel the infinite needles pinching my body.

Scarlet skies were all I could see. There was just faint life left in me. I struggled to lift myself off the ground that was soaked in my own blood. But with every move, intense pain shot up and down my spine. Slowly the red was replaced by black, dusk changed to dark and I was gone.

I woke up to find myself bandaged heavily, lying on a cot. I was in an extremely uncomfortable position and wanted to move. But my body felt numb. It refused to respond to my desire. I slowly began to take into the surroundings. Suddenly I realized that I didn't know that place. ?'Where am I? What am I doing here?' Once again my mind was shooting a million questions. An old lady walked to my side, flashing a smile, apparently happy to see me conscious. She said something in a foreign tongue. I could not comprehend anything. The truth, when I found out later, shattered my life forever.
I had been shot thrice in my legs and once in the back. But miraculously, I survived perhaps because of the pity in that man's heart or probably his goodness. But he was no ordinary man. He was the man from across the border. He took me to his nation, a rival of my nation since their birth. He took me into the interiors, away from the sanctity of my home, to the confines of his home. I was attended by a doctor of his land, on the border. But the effect of the anesthesia took two days to wear off. In those two days, that man succeeded in taking me hundreds of miles into his land from where my escape was impossible.

I did not understand his language. He knew very few words of my language and had great difficulty in making himself clear. My tears told him all that I had to say, and he understood well.

Eventually in the days to come I understood why he had brought me here. I was grateful to him for doing that. After being shot, his men decided to leave me there, to die away in pain. But he could not bear to see that. He picked me up and took me to the first doctor he could find. After that he was confused. My entire family had been destroyed and he could not leave me alone there, an easy prey to the hundreds of scavengers roaming on the streets that night. So the safest thing he decided was to take me to his place.

But I was certainly not welcome there. The others were angry at him because he had helped a girl of another tribe, another religion, another nation, that too a rival nation. They asked him to apologize for his actions and to leave me elsewhere. Otherwise he would be kicked out of his clan. As I slowly learnt, Aalib's (that was his name) traditions and customs bound him to certain duties. The clan was the priority followed by the religion and then the nation. He was at first answerable to the head of his clan. The entire clan was one family and they all lived in the plain between the mountains. It was a striking landscape with beautiful scenery, but that was all about it. I had seen it only once and never again since then.

His elders were seeking a decision from him. He could not leave his clan for that meant defying his holy scriptures and he was a devout person, nor was he ready to leave me for other men to feast on. The only option he felt could save both of us was something I could not agree with. I would rather die than agree. That option was to marry him.

I would certainly not have the privileges like other married women of his clan, but I would be considered a member of the clan. I would have a safe place to stay in. Aalib gave me time to consider his proposal. I was in a fix and I knew that I would loose either ways. I could not think of being left alone among these barbaric men whose ways were beyond my understanding. Nor could I appreciate the idea of living among them by being married to one of them. Women were merely objects of play for men. They were confined behind the four walls of the house and were expected to do nothing save the household chores and rearing the children. They were not even allowed to cross the threshold of their doorstep and step outside, no matter how urgent it was. It was a sin for them to do so. I was trapped both in space and in time.

Considering I had only two ways to go, I began to weigh the pros and cons. Aalib was a man who had saved me from the lust of his own men. Even now when he had the power to forcefully marry me, he did not do so. He left that decision to me. I was somewhere beginning to find a friend in this foe.

After innumerable debates with myself, I agreed to marry Aalib. If at that time I thought that life would be difficult, I was wrong. It was impossible. Women were exploited in the worst manner. To keep a check on their lusts, men hid their women in the houses, away from the eyes of others. Even inside the house, women had to be veiled. Women had to abide by every word her man said and even their scriptures stated, ?'Revere your men as you revere God'.

After being married I realized how mistaken the first impressions seemed and how much worse life actually was behind the walls of the house. Aalib was an admirable man; I never had any troubles from him. He made the best efforts he could to make my life comfortable. Aalib's mother, who lived a few days before succumbing to some disease, did the best she could do for me. She actually never managed to have a conversation with me, but I don't think she loathed me like the others. Perhaps in me she saw a daughter who was as lost as her. Yet I was desperate to get out of this dreadful place.

I was not allowed to step outside the house. It was a strict ?'No' from Aalib. Life was suffocating inside the house. I immersed myself in the household chores which were cooking food, washing clothes, scrubbing utensils and mending torn hems and buttons. There was nothing to look forward too. Each day made me even lonelier and one day I mustered up enough courage to do the impossible: run.

Each day, early in the morning, Aalib would leave the house for his work and would return late in the night. I seized the opportunity to make my escape. If I could escape unnoticed by others, I would have enough time to go far away from these men before anybody even realized. So I slipped out of the house quietly without any suspicions from the men outside. That was the first time I saw this world. It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Had I not had to run, I would have stood there for hours and admired the landscape. But I knew any moment lost could put me into trouble. So I quickly dodged the people roaming here and there, and managed to reach the first slope of the mountains. Soon I was out of sight and was ascending the steep slopes of the mountains. Suddenly I was caught unaware by a narrow pit and I fell down into it. Something hit me on the head and I fell unconscious.

When I woke up, I was where I feared I would be; back in the house with Aalib by my side. I thought I saw fury and rage in his eyes and he would devour me alive, but I was wrong. He was extremely patient with me. He didn't say a word to me. All he did was requested me not to attempt an escape again and endanger both our lives. I understood well and I promised him that I won't.

After that I made innumerable efforts to find pleasure in what I did. But each passing day, only reminded me of where I was. I was surprised to realize how much I missed Aalib's presence in the day. I would wait for his return and the sound of his footsteps would somehow relieve my aching mind. It was a tradition, that men have their food first and then the women. The idea was to give an inferior status to the women. They had to feed on the leftovers and the days there were none, they had to go to bed on an empty stomach. But I never went to bed hungry. Aalib insisted that I have dinner with him. He in no way wanted to make me feel inferior. He in his own ways was making me happy. I was surprised at this man, who himself never defied a custom, gave me the liberty to defy it. I preferred not to ask him. He knew better than I did.

The times after dinner were the best times. We would talk to each other about a lot of different things. He would tell me the tales of his land, his people, his everyday life, and together we would explore each others pasts. He also taught me to read and write his language; another way in which I defied his clan. Women were not educated in this part of the world, and perhaps I was the first one here to have this accomplishment. He was my only contact with the outside word. He was truly the man that his name implied; Aalib- the messenger.

One day Aalib had to go to the town to sell of the articles he made out of animal hide. His work lacked the fineness and skills but his creativity and imagination were admirable. He was away for a week and that was the toughest week of my life. He kept the house well stocked with food. But those days my heart kept longing for him. Suddenly I felt like I was abandoned. All my contacts with the outside were suddenly cut off. I felt like a traveler lost in the wilderness.

When Aalib returned, I immediately rushed and hugged him. He was embarrassed and so was I. We had been married for several months now but not once had we touched each other. It was Aalib's way of telling me that I need not fear him or worry about anything; he was my guardian and my protector, not my exploiter. He handed me the parcel he had brought for me. I opened it and to my surprise I found that Aalib had brought me books! Suddenly, I loved this man and that night I proved it to him.

After that there were no more restraints and I did not hesitate in sharing my thoughts with him. He told me everything that happened in his life and sought my advice in making decisions. He had given me a life better than I could have imagined.

A year later I was blessed with a son, Sadie and soon after Sara came into our lives. With my two children, came newer and tougher challenges. What I had escaped in this dreadful place had to be paid for by my children.

Aalib insisted I raise them as per the scriptures and traditions. There were several times when I could have revolted, but I kept shut. I had been given more than I deserved and now it was my turn to prove my worth as a mother. It killed me to face the fact that my children would be just like the others, especially Sara, who would lead a life that even I had not. She would have to be like the other women, mute and submissive, and I had to teach her to do that. Unfortunately for me, that was the toughest thing to do and that was my real test.

I continue to teach my children the life of this clan and force them to do what I could not force myself to do. I know there is little to hope for, but even after so many years, I sit and wish that the sky I see and the wind I feel would be the reason for my children's freedom, not their reason to be where I am right now, in this faraway land."