Are certain people good-listeners?!?

Maybe they dont WANT to be a listener? If that is the case, then you cant necessarily fault them for that. Some people truly dont care, they just want someone to HEAR them. Doesnt make them bad or wrong.. they just know what they want.

I think what makes people good listeners is thier desire TO listen . If you really want to help someone , usually the best thing to do is to ask them, let them talk, and only answer when it is necessary. WANTING to do that increases your ability TO do that.

There are a number of people in this world who are much more interested in themselves than in anyone else. They don't listen--they talk.

Unfortunately, these people are not particularly interested in changing. You can try, "I wish that you'd listen to me sometimes," but many of these people are convinced that they do listen.

You've heard all about leopards not changing their spots? Egoists don't change their interests, either.

I had a friend from Los Angeles visit me when he was up on a trip to the new area I live in. He is a voluble talker. I have thought his speaking behavior comes from a life long pattern. He is very bright and what he has to say is interesting, but it is sometimes a tiring river of words. One has to be fairly aggressive and interrupt the flow at some point in order to have a semblance of conversation. Armwaving helps.

Anyway, he and I and my business partner were walking down the street to go get coffee at a shop a few blocks away. He didn't cease his rapid fire talk the whole time, even when she was trying to get a word in edgewise with speciifc answers to his comments or questions.

This amazed me, since she herself tends to dominate many conversations she's involved in. She told me later how rude she thought he was.

Well, a couple of days later, he went on and on to me about what she had said while he was talking over her words.
He had actually listened while he was talking....

I remember that Dr. Johnson--Samuel to his close friends--would accept invitations to parties only if he were guaranteed the floor for the entire evening.

All this was recorded by his faithful Boswell.

In my opinion, people that talk talk talk times 100 are not neccesarily people that know what they want. They could be talking for serveral reasons:

bored
distraction from what's really on their mind
selfish
don't like quietness
like to gossip
don't care to listen to anyone else
feel that their opinions are more important than anyone elses
stubborn
feel that their feelings are valid than everyone elses

There are many reasons for someone to talk excessively. I know it's an ambigous subject. However, I want to find out what people think so next time someone is talking excessively I don't say the wrong thing to hurt their feelings or say something I might regret.
Thank you A2K Family

I'd add that some people talk to get someone to listen to them. They may - esoecially older people, but not always - be without companionship much of the time, and have a stored-up need to be heard; it can be a symptom of loneliness... which is unfortunate, because the behavior can cause people to not listen.

I half-listen and offer half-advice often, which makes people think that I'm a good listener, although I might not be. If someone won't stop talking, I just let him go as long as I can stand it, then I politely excuse myself. I don't see much point in asking him to change for me, and I don't see much point in my changing for him, so, as always, ignoring things and isolating myself are my solutions! And as long as I'm polite about it, I think he'll at least be happy that someone listened for a while, so hopefully no feelings get hurt.

Really, there isn't a good way to tell someone that he talks too much. The best option if you actually want to change his behavior is to try to talk as much as you can about anything that he brings up, slowly showing him how much he is excluding other people. Sometimes this works for me, but, as I said above, often I don't have the desire or effort to do it.

Do you think maybe some people who feel the need to constantly be heard, and constantly talk, might have some reason for that? Like maybe a reason of childhood experiences. Maybe thier parents and siblings never showed respect for thier ideas, and now that they're your elder they have an opportunity to be heard, so they take it.

My father is a lot like this. Whenever were both in the car, and he is driving, even when I was a kid, he would talk talk talk talk talk. It seemed like he never stopped, and it seemed like he was never talking about anything at all. He would even drive slower right before we got home in order to get everything out that he wanted to say.
But then I realized something, whenever he was belly-aching about something, it is because there was really something bothering him. Something really important to him, but if I tried to tell him things, or give advice or insight, he would cut me off and keep talking, I still to this day have not figured it out.

I know exactly what you mean. It's hard when someone consistenly keeps talking. I have learned to let them talk and as someone said, I have to excuse myself. I have to save my patience for the rest of the day. Thank you all for your insight on the matter. It has made me see things more clearly and from a different person's perspective!!! Thank You.

berrian

There is another possibility. They are deaf.