Re: writing 01
navigator wrote:Ever since I'd brought my wife clippers for Christams, and we'd been having a grand time.I let her had a full reign of my hair.In every two weeks, I had the razor shaved my hair high and tight.Over the last months, she made a wonderful blending.My hair looked as it had been done by a professional.
had bought?
had been having?
let her had/have?
Cut that out! LOL
I bought . . .
I gave . . .
Keep your sentence structure simple. Use simple verb forms.
I bought my wife, Christy, clippers for Christmas. I gave her free reign over my hair. . . .
[I don't understand the rest of this paragraph . . . how can your head/hair be shaved high and tight?]
Quote:Last weekend, we'd been visiting Christy's home.I spent some time helping or watching her father doing some work on his car in the garage.We lapsed in a companionable silence.Then, he broke it saying, " do you know that the Memorial Day is coming?, and this means that it's Summer".
Follow the rule: OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS.
Again, use simple verb forms. Instead of writing "we had been visiting," why don't you write, "we visited."
Last weekend, we visited Christy's parents at their home. . . .
Quote:I had to laugh.Ever since Chritsy had started to give me the high and tight Winter cut, and the father and my brother-in-laws had been teasing hints that I need the induction haircut that they did for the Summer.I said, " don't worry about that, I left my hair in the capable hands of Christy".
I had to laugh?
How about: I laughed.
I can't help you with the rest because I don't understand "high and tight Winter cut."
Quote:Memorial Day weekend, I was due to another haircut.Frankly, I'd been watching the weeks out for this.We'd gotten up on Saturday morning, and Christy begged off until Monday.I knew what was coming.
Monday morning, we lazed around in the bed.Extra days wouldn't be a problem.Christy sat up and said, " guess we should get going if we want to make it in time with my parents"...
???
Your sentence structure needs to be cleaned up. I don't understand the story. Apparently, you're not going to get the "induction haircut" for Summer?
Stumble It!
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