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Sat 22 Feb, 2003 04:29 pm
Bill Hicks couldn't make it here in person, as he is appearing on stage at the Afterlife Comedy Club, but some of his comments from yesteryear, appear to be as topical as ever. Here are a few of Bill's thoughts on the last Gulf War.....
People say "Iraq had the fourth largest army in the world". Yeah, maybe, but you know what, after the first 3 largest armies, there's a REAL big f****** drop-off. The Hari Krishnas are the 5th largest army in the world, and they've already got all our airports.
Iraq: 150,000 casualties. USA: 79. Does that mean if we'd sent over 80 guys we still would have won?
"It wasn't really a war. A war is when TWO armies are fighting."
They're arming the f******* world man. You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out:
"Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons."
"How do you know that?"
"Uh, well... We looked at the receipts Haar."
"Ah but as soon as that cheque clears, we're going in."
"What time's the bank open? 8? We're going in at 9."
That last one is the true reason....
one of my faves has always been his description of the elite republican guards
he starts off with how the media made such a big deal of the republican guards, you'd have thought that they were super warriors, ten feet tall, they ate tanks and **** bullets, then after a couple of weeks of carpet bombing, they became simply, the republican guard, apparently not so elite after all, the after a little more bombing, they became some **** the republicans made up about there being guards at all
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