What are my options need help while doing the right thing

Reply Sun 7 Jan, 2018 12:51 pm
Maybe some one can help with suggestions or places to go.
I am divorced and have 2 kids that my ex won primary custody in NJ for and worked out child support for them both. I have and want to support my children. so I have paid and supported them with my payments on time and any little add on events that they were involved in as well.
Then I started dating someone else who was supposed to be on the depo shot and after we broke up 6 months later she tells me that she is pregnant the shot didn't work and she didn't know until now. This took any choice of whether to keep it or not off the table. So now I have another child and I would give her money to help out with the child and we had both agreed on the amount until she got angry due to my new relationship and she decided to take me to court for child support in Pa. Which again was fine no matter what I wanted to support any children I have. They decided to give her the difference of the maximum they can possibly take which is 51% of my pay which comes out to more than what I pay for the two in NJ. Upsetting but again I am not looking to not support my children but it has also left me in a position that I can barely afford to survive I am forced to live with a family member at the moment and even without rent or mortgage I barely make ends meet. I am not living a ridiculous lifestyle or anything like either.
What can I do?? is there any resources or programs out there that can help with this? like I said I don't want to not pay I just want to survive too.
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Reply Sun 7 Jan, 2018 01:57 pm
That doesn't make sense. Go to the agency that sets these rates and see how the obligation breaks down for child support for children with different mothers.

PS you DID get a paternity test for this latest child. Didn't you?
Reply Sun 7 Jan, 2018 03:56 pm
I agree that a paternity test re the third child is Job One. Because it really sounds like you've become a cash register.

I'd also suggest contacting these agencies and present all of the information to them and I mean ALL of it. Your tax returns. The cost of living in your area. Your most recent utility bills. Rent or mortgage bills, you get the idea. This also includes cancelled checks from paying child support to Baby Mama #1. Gather up the past 6 months and take it with you and GO THERE to talk to someone.

Not on the phone and not online. March down to the office and talk to a human in person, with your copies of all of this information and show them that you're in poverty because of the ruling - and that your two older children might suffer financially.

The agency does not want to starve your older kids. And they don't want to starve you, either, because they want you alive and able-bodied and working and paying so that they don't have to.

I applaud you for wanting to do right by your children, but first determine whether there is an obligation at all to this third child. And if there is, then get some relief from the agency, if you can.
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Reply Thu 11 Jan, 2018 12:29 pm
No I haven't at first I didn't question it the timeline made sense so I just assumed it was mine. She has my eyes but I am learning that is not really much in the way of determining anything its a recessive gene. My family and my families friends are all now saying that beyond that she looks nothing like me and the back stories I am now hearing from how the babies mother was pretty open to finding other partners when the opportunity was there. I am going to have a paternity test done. I have gone to the courts in Pa for the third child to try and get them to lower it, I think what I pay for the first to children is pretty fair so I don't wish to really contest that. When I went to Pa they reviewed it and actually increased it to the maximum they could but I didn't go with the rent utilities and w-2 I went with just my pay stub and what I was paying the first mother. I will try that route and hope for the best cause IDK how much longer I can juggle everything.
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