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Sun 16 Jan, 2005 06:49 pm
Knock knock
knock knock world, It's me standing out here on the universe's ledge, arms held out . I am a part of you and you are all of me.
Knock Knock darkness, my second skin. except the light and change within.
knock knock eyes, open wide, free my soul that hides inside.
Knock knock heart, awaken, remember not the pain.
Knock knock mind, remember how time heals all and begin to tick onece more.
Knock knock lips, regain your words and speak again. Bid farewell as I come closer to the edge and jump into forever.
Knock knock. Who's there?
No one.
by the way comments are welcome, good or bad.. thanks
This is a different kind of peice, I like it, but again, I would change the format some. Good work other wise!
"Knock Knock darkness, my second skin. except the light and change within."
"except"-- did you mean "accept?" Cause I like accept better, personally.
I would totally omit the last part- the "knock knock who is it? no one" part. You don't need it. Your poem stands up without it.
It's interesting-- I dig the style. Esp like your name.. I'm quite a devious bitch myself.
Write more.
oh wait, LOL! Thought your name was Devious Bitches!! HA HA! Nevermind then-- but I still am, and will forever be quite a d.b. Maybe you aren't... but your pants sure are.
lol
thank you for your coments. Lol and yes it's accept duh me y spelling is awfull or it may fo been I was dealin with a screamin kid at the time. Not sure what I was thinking hen I put except. Anyhow thank you and yes many miss that lil r lol but I can be both as well.
I enjoyed this very much, good job!
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