Reply
Tue 11 Jan, 2005 04:56 pm
day dreaming behind the desk
voices swirl like the breeze
around me
I drove past his house
just to see where he lives
idled the car and drove on
day dreaming behind the desk
the sunsets allowing the
baked tar to cool in the parking lot
on the way home
I thought of ink black hair
and Bouneville chocolate eyes
day dreaming behind the wheel
the waning moon brightens the road
while I miss traffic islands and curbs
My headlights shine on
the canopy of trees I notice
how beautiful the Seringas are tonight
Daydreaming in my driveway
of my cinnamon mocha
moonshine baby.
T.L. That was very evocative. I thought that your last stanza was quite a foil to the rest, and that made it even more delightful.
Another fine piece. This one definitely reads as 'finished'. I wouldn't change a thing.
thank you Cav and Letty, yeah I think this one's got a definite end
Yes, this is a good 'un. Lots of strong imagery.
Tiny detail, you've omitted the "r" in Bourneville.
I'm looking forward to reading more.
The title makes me hungry.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... good. I mean, I don't have any Seringas, whatever they are, cause I live in Jersey, but you might as well have omitted that, put in something about the New Jersey stink, and there you go-- you've got me.
There's this guy that I see sometimes at work and I can relate-- completely. Oh, except he has blue-green eyes, not brown.... but whatever. Great writing.
know what? I re-read this poem and I REALLY dig it!!!
thanks saint abby, it's definatley been one of my most popular ones
what the hell is a saringa?
It's a type of tree that has heavily sented pink blooms in spring, orginally from India but there's hundreds if them in south africa
they sound heavenly. The best smelling tree I've ever come in contact with is night-blooming Jasmine in California. MMMM!!! Scrumptous!
yeah ltos of that here too got jasmine in my gardena seringa tree and some honeysuckle and oh yeah you ever heard of wysteria?
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace