Help with school newspaper articles...

I pondered putting this in 'Original Writing' but I'm not actually posting anything I've written... So, bare with the strange placement.


In Newspaper, our first assignment is the 'April Fools' paper. This is a wonderful oppurtunity to play around withc creative writing skills.

Here's what I need from you: Topics that are humorously false, but believeable to some extent.

The goal of the April Fools paper is to make all the kids think, for one tiny second, that our stories are true and then have a ball when they realize they're not. To give you a feel for the topics already chosen:

'The U.S. is changing it's official language to Yiddish'
'The Ohio re-count has finally been tallied and John Kerry is now our president!'
'Mr. Carem's stuffed turkey protested by PETA; school to shut down'
'Midwest City Bombers are changing their mascott to the purple peacons come next month.'

So on and so forth. I thought up two stories, but I really dislike them - I think they're laking:

-Earth reversing in orbit; sudden loss of gravity - how to hold on!
-New scientific discovery places humans as decendents from Hermit Crabs

Sooo, I want you all to help feed me ideas, I'd greatly appreciate it. It can be on any topic, as long as it's "school appropriate" (someone already encouraged the story on the school's spreading epidemic of genital herpes; didn't get very far with it.) and false :wink:

Thanks y'all.