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Wed 29 Dec, 2004 02:49 pm
cleaning out the draws of my head
airing the dirty laundry
stained with bottled emotions too
old to carry the stench of salty tears
soaked up by empty late nights
drinking drowning dreaming away
my fears
but not for ever
they surface reality's little reminder
your human after all
one hang over too many
my friends are just shadows
empty barstools
the sunshine on the car's
windscreen pierces my
gritty smoke filled eyes
today i feel the weight of all the
days I don't remember
today I'm more real then ever
the drunken drugged numbness
is over, I'm stone cold sober
and I'm fighting
the urge to run
but not forever
I'm waiting for my
life to begin
I'm twenty and I'm patient
I've done a little this a little that
I can see through my hollow existence
friends with every one intimate with none
weekends the reason for existing
but not forever....
cry away my frustration
throw away my baggage
i been ignoring it for so long
this diseased lump in my heart
disguised by a slick amiable tongue
no one suspects anything
not me I'm fine
but not forever.
You have a real knack for capturing the world around you, and the world you are involved in. What strikes me most about your writing is how much of yourself you express openly, raw, unflinching, take no prisoners. Keep it up, great stuff.
now that's a nice comment cav; I mean it... for me that's what it all about i'm not intrested in the generic i want raw indivual experince.
I dunno I think we all got our dark sides, I'm just not afraid to examine mine.
Thanks tagged. I like your style. There was a thread here a while ago about commenting on original writing, and it seems a lot of people are afraid to be honest, so they walk on eggshells, which isn't helpful at all for the writer. I think most people who post poetry are begging for straightforward critique, and honest praise. Yeah, we all have our dark sides, and it gets pretty ugly there sometimes, but that's where the best writing comes from, IMO.
yeah read the thread.. agreed with the premise and decided that it was
to hard to debate with people i can't look in the eye
Well, we pretty much abandoned it anyway. The point was made, and it probably shouldn't have gone on for as many pages as it did.
"today i feel the weight of all the
days I don't remember
today I'm more real then ever "
Wooooow, this just struck me. What a great line.
Don't you just love it when you write a great line? I usually store all of my poems and writing on my computer and some of it I've had on there since 2001, so every once in a while I will go thru it all and read it-- and sometimes I stumble on a line that I wrote and just think, "Damn, that was good!" And then I feel all proud and give myself a round of applause.
well i know i got poems I'm proud of an other poems that i read again and go oh my god what was i thinking or better I obviously wasn't
yeah, me too. In fact, in my freshman year of college I pulled this little fun stunt where I didn't sleep at all and instead went to see the sunrise with my roommate. It was a great choice and a great sunrise, however, I had an 8:30 class that morning and I went-- all freshly showered and whatnot. So I get there and I'm ridiculously tired-- falling asleep, I've got the whole head-nod thing going. So I decide to write a poem to help keep myself focused and awake. I WISH I had that because it made the least sense I've ever made in my life-- something about flourescent fishbowls and quitting school (which I didn't, incidentally, and I was never exposed to any such fishbowls)--- but it made for a good laugh the next day.
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