the hootchie kootchie to the sound of violins played by a group of disowned
Estonian gypsies, all dressed as cowboys, apart from their leader; just a shade under seven feet high, who was dressed in a tutu and wore frogmen's flippers - this was his way of letting them know he thought their outfits were cheap attention-getters and he wanted no part of it - but his opinion did not really matter because
He wasnt really a man anyway, he wasnt even human...he wasnt even from this planet. He was really a...
politician trying to convince everyone that
he was a creative but cravenly coward from the bayou who had been raised by alcoholic alligators who taught him the joy of
behaving badly by dancing daringly with evocative entertainers, furtively following
drunken geisha girls who had never seen the south side of Seattle on a snowy Tuesday after having
ony arrived from the East on the previous Friday on a
run-down, broken-down, Chinese junket that had seen better days... however, as soon as the sun came up, they
went to sleep and dreamed of
things they would never dare speak of and wake up and carry on getting themselves ready for another
chicken curry with half rice and half fries together with
jam. They eat a splendid meal and set off for another day of...
syrup pancakes and cream coffee and washed down with a bottle or two of wine and four
hand-rolled cigarettes. Oops, no, I forgot, they quit smoking. Good for them! They arose from the
Ashes of their snubbed cigs and ran to
smell their neighbour's second-hand smoke. Ahhhh, they all said, collectively... what a
F@#$ed up thing to do, we should all quit lets go get the gum and the patch and the losenges. They went to the doctor and he said...
"Terribly sorry, chappies", you've got the wrong doc... "I'm the smoking doctor, don't you know... you've got to visit the blighter at the end of the hall, but you'll only get in if you know the secret knock. What you do is..."
stick your toes under the door and yell "sic em". after someone steps on them give your toes a wiggle knock18 times and fart through the key hole. If it smells like mango the guard should let you in. Once you get in you must follow these rules....
