Your Letters to Santa Claus

Dear Santa,

A grand piano would be nice
In my dining room if you please
With champagne on ice
Chilled to 35 degrees

Don't forget the laptop
With one hundred gig
With a DVD-R inside it
All piled in your rig

I wouldn't mind a graphic tablet
8 x 10 is a perfect mass
So I can color pictures
And place them under glass

Dear Santa Claus--

I have been very good--at least I've tried to be very good. I always wake up in the morning with excellent intentions which last until I've got both feet on the floor of reality.

Please, bring me a bit more patience and a lot more perspective.

I could also use a few, regular, diverting outings, but with patience and perspective I might be able to manage those on my own.

Could you send the bears to bed so I can fill the bird feeders?

Would it be possible to arrange the winter to have only two icy days out of every seven?

I've planted lots of early crocus. Could you send the local voles other winter snacks so I have blooms in springtime?

My best to the North Pole contingent--especially Mrs. C. who has endured a great deal with excellent good humor.


Noddy

A herring.

Damn Santa Claus
He brought me a lobster without claws
He brought soda with no refreshing pause
He brought me sees without any saws
Damn him anyway
Is it too much to expect the perfect gift
Something to open without any rift
To get to it theres nothing nuts to sift
No traumatic baggage you'd have to lift
Damn damn damn that Santy Claus