Call Me the Lucky One

Good message. A little forced on rhyme, again. Can remorse be plural?

Thank you, Kelly...

Yea, I may have forced rhyme on this one...my apologies.

Remorse is not used in the plural sense, but as one remorse compared to or in relation to another.

Maybe I spelled it wrong? Oh gee....sorry again...
)

PBWY

tm

Nah - never apologize, my friend. This forum is here to make us better poets - a beautiful venture. I think your basic message sails through loud and clear. However, even with that gold-plated license in our lyrical wallet, we must strive to live within certain bounds. In this case, I would recommend more subtle use of rhyme, rather than direct ones. It would make this poem a chord, rather than the note I perceive it to be in its present form :-)

Thank you, Kelly...I really appreciate your input.

I will re-read your response at another time...more than once, that is...

By the by...with that Gold Plated License, am I allowed to drive OFF the main road??...after all, that is how OTHER TRAILS ARE MADE....

I vaguely remember either a song, poem or whatever that contains these words...

"I step to the beat of a DIFFERENT drummer..."

(I feel it is not as important to know WHO wrote WHAT, but rather, it is more important to know the depthness (truth?) of what was written.)

PBWY

tm

You may go where your heart navigates you, TM. The only risk you take by a 'different drummer' mentality is in driving to a place only you can access. That's fine, if you are your intended audience. My comments are not insults. They are observations from one poet to another, for the purpose of providing a fellow author with objective insight.

Oh I understand fully, Kelly, as well as no insult intended.

But if - just if - I find a "path" that others CAN access, what then? Do I selfishly conceal it for my own, like the man who "hid his talent in the ground" (Per…The Christian Bible) or do I take the broader view of the love for humankind and share it - albeit, with discretion so as not to appear a demented fool or someone to be viewed as "cute but with exocentric views," and for reasons known only to those looking on, are warned to stay away for fear of contamination...? It DOES occur, Kelly, it does occur...

If I may quote, (which I rarely do of the Bible because doing such, I feel, is a very weak excuse in logical presentations, but only because I have had actual experience of that which is written…)

And besides…Excuses have NEVER been a substitute for action.

Mat 13:57 And they were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.

Mar 6:4 But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.


Your input is very valuable to me, Kelly. I really appreciate all of them.

PBWY

tm

Re: Opposite Remorses
Brilliant! I love poems about paradox. I am amazed even now at just how much of my own poetry addresses paradox such as "opposite remorses."

I find that to be a wonderful turn of a phrase. I instantly thought of "The Fool's Prayer" (Edward R. Sill).

Any writing that renders a parallel allusion to a classic must be doing something right.

Thank you, injunKB, for your in-depth input.

Your view or even your definition of a paradox takes a lesser level when you consider your inborn ability to step back and see a broader view of things...even your own writings.

Have you considered...Do you think that "someone" inside you is trying to tell you something with "your" own writings...??

(So I leave you with no pun intended to your handle...)

"Peace" be with you.

tm