What about Frank's and Etruscia's advice?
It sounds to me like you are pretty well turned off by your church experiences.
Another question I have is if Adam was first and Eve was built so Adam would have a companion why are we sexually attracted to women? Was Adam built with and attraction to something that did not exist? Or was he altered after Eve was created so he would be attracted to her?
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What about Frank's and Etruscia's advice?
It sounds to me like you are pretty well turned off by your church experiences.
Frank and Etruscia's advice is some of the best advice I have heard. My last reply was not saying that I would not educate myself or children in the different religions. It was stating that I didn't feel the best place for that education was in church.
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It sounds to me like you are pretty well turned off by your church experiences.
Living in the Bible belt and having attended southern baptist churches had allot to do with my experiences.
traviscorn: My advice is to work at it historically. Let your daughter go to church and reach her own conclusions. Sometime during the following week (perhaps even the same day) sit her down and ask her how she liked it, what she thought, etc. Don't make a big deal out of it, just have a discussion. Then, introduce her to alternative styles of thinking later in the week. Read her classical (Greek) mythology, Norse, Egyptian, etc., then slowly work your way to contemporary religions with her. If she gets bored, then she gets bored, and religion's probably not a big concern for her.
As for you: Trying to find truth in the bible is like going to a remote nation where they don't speak any mainstream language and just jumping in and trying to understand them. It just doesn't work. Something I've found helpful is the comparing of religions, wherein you can find commonalities that I think are what's important. In the end, the only thing that's really important are those nuggets, which are, more often than not, morals. So many people try to make religion synonymous with morality, but that's just not true. Regard the bible as a folk tale meant to convey morals, and you won't be far off. Good Luck!
I hear what you're saying. I wouldn't force them to go to church just for
the learning experience. That's pretty much guaranteed to be a bad
time. You may have to take their "religious" education on yourself.
My post came up before I saw Taliesin181. Sounds like good advice to
me as long as your child wants to go to church. as I said before, I would
not force her.
Hey! I've got some advice that might actually be useful! (it wasn't before)
Taliesin made me realize something. As a kid, I was fascinated with old mythology, like (especially) egyptian, greek, roman, etc. Maybe instead of church you could just get some books to read with her, like bible stories, and egyptian, greek, etc myths like Taliesin says. Now that I think about it, I doubt I would've been able to break free from Christianity if I hadn't read that stuff as a kid and been introduced to the concept that people have been wrong about religion before at an early age.
So I guess I don't have advice... I just think Taliesin's advice is good.
Great advice.
That is great advice! I plan on going to the library today to pick up some books. Thank you all for your help! It is great to be able to speak with open minded people. In the past I have went to my Christian friends for suggestions and answers only to get their biased opinion. I feel so much better now that I know the direction to lead my children. I will educate them on the many different religions of past and present and let them decide for themselves.Thanks again!
No problem, traviscorn; I think it's wonderful that you a) want to introduce your child to religion of some form, b) care enough about your daughter to try and re-make yourself to spare her suffering, and c) are open-minded and intelligent enough to consider alternatives to how you were raised. Good Luck!
everyone: I'm blushing. Thanks.
hey guys, does anyone know why the word "remote" has a link attached to it that leads to some random Microsoft product? I sure didn't put it there.
Traviscorn: How are things going with the religious education? I hope that worked out for you.
For a response...
I think you should let your daughter go to church...you got to and made your judgement so allow her...
as for proof in the bible ..this is a good website
http://www.livingwaters.com/witnessingtool/browse.shtml
I know this may be a little late, but godbless
Re: I want to believe but can't.
traviscorn wrote:This is how I believe that allot of Christians live there life, walking through life with blind faith. I could keep going on and on about the problems I have had trying to accept the existence of God but I would just bore you more than I already have. I will say it once again I wish I could believe. It would make my life and my families life easier. I do envy the people that can have full faith in God and never question but I cant. If anyone can help me cope with this I sure could use some help!
Hi Travis,
Learning about religion is just like learning about anything else, you study and make your own decisions. But "being" religious is about faith, not about knowing. You can't reason-out the validity of a supernatural being, you just have to have "faith".
And I don't think you should just assume that being religious will make things easier just because you and your children will fit in with a particular crowd. Blind Faith comes with its own set of challenges as well.
I think each person, including your kids, have to follow the path which works best for them. People need different things to make them feel comfortable and to allow them to deal with life. Some people need reason, and some need faith. There is no Universal "right" way.
Re: I want to believe but can't.
traviscorn wrote:I am a 30 year old father of three. I have struggled many years with my feelings toward religion. It would be much easier on me to just believe in God but I find it so hard. With three kids I always am asking myself if I am doing the right thing by not introducing them to religion, but on the other hand how can I teach them to believe in something I do not. Just today my son came home and said his teacher told him about the real meaning of Christmas. He told the class that Christmas was a celebration of the birth of Jesus and that most kids believe it is just about Santa and toys. Last year one of my daughters teachers asked for a show of hands for children that attended church and my daughter was the only one that didn't raise her hand. She said she was very embarrassed. As you can see it would be much easier to go through life believing in God. My problem is all of the unanswered questions. You can tell that the bible was written by man by the way it doesn't explain anything not know to man at that time. It doesn't explain about the universe because man did not know it existed. I have heard from many people on these boards that say how can you not believe that something as complicated as life was not created by God. Well I have to agree life is truly amazing and complex but the question I have is that if life is so complex then how come the explanation of our creation is so simple? Actually the whole creation of the earth seemed a bit simple. Basically it was God said let there be light, and bam there it was. Let there be darkness, and bam there it was. And if Adam and Eve were not flesh in the garden of Eden then how did he take the rib from Adam to create Eve, and why did he need it. Did he take one of his ribs to create Adam. I have asked these questions to my religious friends and all that I get back in return is that you just have to believe and that someday all of our questions will be answered. My grandparents are very religious and have attended church their whole life, so one day I decided to ask them a few questions to see if they could help me. The first one I asked was about Cain and Able. I asked who was Cane speaking of when he asked God what the people would do to him when they seen he had been marked. I said because at this point in the bible the only people that exist are Adam, Eve, and Cain. They both just stared blankly at me and changed the subject. They had no clue. This is how I believe that allot of Christians live there life, walking through life with blind faith. I could keep going on and on about the problems I have had trying to accept the existence of God but I would just bore you more than I already have. I will say it once again I wish I could believe. It would make my life and my families life easier. I do envy the people that can have full faith in God and never question but I cant. If anyone can help me cope with this I sure could use some help!
My question is, what are your kids teachers (I'm assuming in a secular school) doing embarrasing your kids about their personal beliefs? To quote a cliche', "What's popular is not always right, what's right is not always popular." Whatever happened to separation of church and state? Who are their teachers to use peer pressure to force them into religion?
That would be a good chance to teach your kids how to stand up for what they believe in.
traviscorn, I don't think you sound confused at all. Since you are, in your mind, "wondering" about whether or not your children should be religiously educated, I would suggest you educate them along these lines yourself. Quite honestly, what you say is probably correct, for you, because you have not been brainwashed. And, since you haven't you can find ways to teach your kids love and decency and kindness. God is there with them as life and love, always, and they will discover that themselves with your help.
I did not send, or take, my children to church past about age 6. Religion seems to be more "the problem" and so far, with no solution.
You could read Neale Donald Walsch's books, the one I am reading now is The New Revelations, A Conversation With God. It would help you to understand your thinking at this time.
Walsch thinks it is our "belief" systems that need to be changed, as what we believe becomes our behavior. Has religion resulted in good behavior by the millions and jillions? Hardly.
Expose your children to as many forms of learning as possible.
With regard to religion, tell them it is an individual thing, like music. Music moves us, helps us experience a range of emotions as can religion.
They should sample what is available to them. Ask them what they believe and why and steer them towards some type of organization that incorporates at least some of what they already feel.
There are spiritual programs that are not religiously organized. Take it from a 12-Stepper.
Be honest with your children.
Tell them exactly what you told us. Many people believe in God but you yourself haven't been able to, even though you'd sometimes like to.
Lying to them, hiding the topic or faking a commitment in order to share it with them is disloyal to your family.
We always had lots of pets around our home and I used them to teach my children compassion, kindness, love and gentleness. We taught them responsibility and a sense of pupose by making sure they completed chores assigned to them and all-the-while, discover work can be fun. We encouraged drive and ambition by suggesting they find ways of filling all those hours they call "boring."
These are all traits that religion DOES NOT teach. We think they teach our kids morals, but religion changes morals depending on the different "beliefs."
I wonder if we should have our children "learn" something just so they can rebel against it. What a waste! Why develop behavior that must be changed? What I'm saying is that most religions still "believe" in an eye for an eye, and think people should be killed who believe differently. A "jihad" would be to kill bad behaviors within yourself and not some directing outwards to others. And, what of the Christian Crusades?
That's why I say behavior can only be changed by a change in beliefs. I have seen parents who use their children to impress church officials, the kids know it, and these kids develop an anger that only they must deal with when they are older.
Duce, the Unity church (brought the 12-step programs out of the basement into the sanctuary and embellished on them) still teaches spiritual principles and self study is still encouraged. They have an excellent children's program. I do think the future leans more towards a connection between spirituality and science. Certainly, it can't be religion and science, although most people seem to confuse the two, religion & spirituality.
TRAVIS:
Just out of curiousity, what do you believe spiritutally?
