Parodies of Broadway Show Tunes
"If I Were A Rich Man" Based on the performance by Zero Mostel (Fiddler on the Roof)
"If I Were The Dark Lord" Parody by Phil Alexander
If I were The Dark Lord
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger, evil evil One
All day long I'd plan my evil fun
If I were the Overlord
I wouldn't show no mercy
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger, evil evil One
If I were a baddy-baddy dark,
Evil, evil nasty nasty man
I'd build a great big Death Star, size of a planet
Sail that mother into space
I'd check the plans so no little flaws to blow
There would be one big gun to blow planets up
And lots of lasers to bring down
Every little rebel ship I know
I'd fill my big Death Star with troops who can shoot
And duck if the doorway is too small
Clear visors so their faces can be seen
And each loud "pee-ow" and "spaanng" and "kapow"
Would herald another rebel's fall
As if to say "Mwaha! I rule supreme"
Oh..
If I were The Dark Lord
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger, evil evil One
All day long I'd plan my evil fun
If I were the Overlord
I wouldn't show no mercy
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger, evil evil One
If I were a baddy-baddy dark,
Evil, evil nasty nasty man
I see a hero come, looking like a proper fool
With a proper vorpal blade
I won't put off his death, just for my delight
I won't ask him his plans, or how he knew mine
I'll just toss in a hand grenade
And make sure it's removed him from the fight
The most important men in space and time will come to me
They will ask me not to kill them,
Like an evil Overlord
"If you please, Oh, Dark One"
"Pardon me, Oh Dark One?"
I might kill them anyway, if I get bored...
(Cue evil laughter) Mwahahahahaha
And it won't make one bit of difference
If I answer right or wrong
When you're evil, powerful, you know
There would be no computers for rebels to access
If left alone for any time:
A totally non-standard interface
And if I ever capture a lovely princess
Who say's she NEVER will be mine
I'll sigh, and kill her quickly - just in case
If I were The Dark Lord
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger, evil evil One
All day long I'd plan my evil fun
If I were an Overlord
I wouldn't show no mercy
Mwahahahahaha
Snigger snigger evil evil scum
My diktats would never be ignored
I would put whole planets to the sword
What I'd do, just to keep from getting bored
If I were the OVERLORD!!!!!
MWAHAHaHaHahahaha.....
Cabaret" Based on the performance by Liza Minelli
"Killer Ray" Parody by Phil Alexander
So, Meester Bond, you thought you could outsmart ME?
Now that I've got you tied up in my room
I'll give all my plans away
I've got a Killer Ray, James Bond
Come see my Killer Ray
Push down the button... it all goes KABOOM!
And blows everyone away
I've got a Killer Ray, James Bond
Come see my Killer Ray
It's so malign
All that I've planned
I'll blow them all
We're detonating
Look at them disintegrating
I'm a maniacal prophet of doom
And I'll rule the world someday
I've got a Killer Ray, James Bond
Come see my Killer Ray
I've been known to go somewhat beserky
And give the order to fire up and roast Turkey
But start on something smaller - say: Albania
To increase UN tension, let me explain t'yer
Soon there will be no land next to Poland
Italy will be totally at my command
But when they sent James Bond, secret police
I knew then I was going to melt Greece
I think maybe I'll KO the UK
Waste Wales and use up the USA
No point in guessing what I'll do to whom
Start now, without delay
I've got a Killer Ray, James Bond
Time for my Killer Ray
And as for me
And as for me
I know that no one will forgive me...
When I go
The
World
Goes
With
Me
(Bond, he escapes through
A hole in the plot
Starts shooting without delay)
That is my Killer Ray, James Bond
Don't touch my Killer Ray, James Bond
No! You broke my Ki- ller Raaaaaaaay!