WA2K Radio is now on the air

Time for a little frivolity.

Communication takes a giant leap backward



Secret: what we tell everyone not to tell anyone.

Hospital: where you might wind up if you get run down.

Nudist: a person who is never clothes-minded.

Twins: womb-mates.

Tension: what the sergeant shouts to the troops.

Bargain Basement: a place where what you seize is what you get.

Zinc: what you do if you can't zwim.

Paralyze: a couple of fibs.

Bacteria: rear entrance to a cafeteria.

Seamstress: a real material girl.

Diploma: the person you call when your toilet backs up.

Operetta: an employee of the phone company.

Calculator: a product you can count on.

Microwave: a head full of tiny curls.

Jail cell: a bar room.

Golf cart: a vehicle with a fore cylinder engine.

Minister: a man who is the soul support of his family.

Cashew: the noise a nut makes when it sneezes.

Stupendous: advanced stupidity.

Hurricane: what Abel said to his brother when he was late for school..

My wife's as cold as marble......she says I take her for granite.

My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.....
for most of their mrried life they fought tooth and nail.

I used to run a doughnut shop but I got tired of the hole business.

My word, I have some catching up to do, listeners.

Thanks, Diane for that bit of etymology.

And Francis, has taken us from Greek to Roman (ah, the Romance languages)and in between, melodies and songs galore.

Nice timing, Bob, on those neat funnies.

Dys and edgar, I need to study the lyrics a bit more before I comment.

A little bit of country thyme, folks:


If you've got the money I've got the time
We'll go honky tonkin' and we'll have a time
We'll make all the night spots dance romance and dine
If you've got the money honey I've got the time
Now there ain't no use to tarry so let's start out tonight
We'll spread joy boy oh boy honey we'll spread it right
We'll have more fun baby all way down the line
If you've got the money honey I've got the time
If you've got the money I've got the time
We'll go honky tonkin' and we'll have a time
Bring along your cadillac leave your old wreck behind
If you've got the money honey I've got the time
[ strings - piano ]
Yes we'll go honky tonkin' and we'll be pleasure bent
I'll look like a million but I won't have a cent
But if you run short of money I'll run short of time
Cause you with no more money honey I've no more time
If you've got the money...
If you've got the money...

My, my. I thought that was a Hank Williams song. Guess not, radio fans

Attention, listeners:

RealJonBoy cannot access A2K. Any techie help would be appreciated.

dyslexia's song everyone's gone to the moon, got me thinking

i haven't done a theme set in a while

so here goes

everybody's gone.........

Everyone's Gone to the Movies
Steely Dan

Kids if you want some fun
Mr. LaPage is your man
He's always laughing, having fun
Showing his films in the den
Come on, come on
Soon you will be eighteen
I think you know what I mean
Don't tell your mama
Your daddy or mama
They'll never know where you been

CHORUS:
Everyone's gone to the movies
Now we're alone at last

Listen to what I say
He wants to show you the way
Right down the hallway with open arms
To teach you a new game to play
Come on, come on
Soon it will be too late
Bobbing for apples can wait
We know you're used to sixteen or more
Sorry we only have eight

CHORUS

Kids if you want some fun
See what you never have seen
Take off your cheaters and sit right down
Start the projection machine

CHORUS


Linda Goes to Mars
John Prine

I just found out yesterday that Linda goes to Mars
Every time I sit and look at pictures of used cars
She'll turn on her radio and sit down in her chair
And look at me across the room, as if I wasn't there

Chorus:
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well I wish she wouldn't leave me here alone
Oh My stars! My Linda's gone to Mars
Well, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.

Something, somewhere, somehow took my Linda by the hand
And secretly decoded our sacred wedding band
For when the moon shines down up on our happy, humble home
Her inner space gets tortured by some outer space unknown.

Repeat Chorus:

Now I ain't seen no saucers 'cept the ones upon the shelf
And if I ever seen one I'd keep it to myself
For if there's life out there somewhere beyond this life on earth
Then Linda must have gone out there and got her money's worth.

Repeat Chorus:

Yeah, I wonder if she'd bring me something home.


Going Home
Alice Cooper

I'm going home
There I am in my bedroom
I'm safe and snug and snoring
and so glad to be there
I'm going home
None of this ever happened
But God, I really did it
Still nothing has changed
I'm going home
I'm going home
To my own room to all the mess
To all the dirty laundry
It looks so good I don't care
I'm just so glad to be back home
Sweet home
I wonder if anyone missed me
Or have I been gone so long
They thought that I died
How many said I wonder what happened to Alice
How many shrugged or laughed
How many cried
But I don't give a damn
'Cuz I'm going home
I'm going home
To my own room to all the mess
To all the dirty laundry
It looks so good I don't care
I'm just so glad to be back home
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now
I'm going home
Nothing can stop me now


Spirit In The Sky
Norman Greenbaum

When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best

Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
That's where you're gonna go when you die
When you die and they lay you to rest
You're gonna go to the place that's the best

Never been a sinner I never sinned
I got a friend in Jesus
So you know that when I die
He's gonna set me up with
The spirit in the sky
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
I'm gonna go to the place that's the best
Go to the place that's the best


Going to California
Led Zeppelin

Spent my days with a woman unkind, Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start, Going To California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Took my chances on a big jet plane, never let them tell you that they're all the same.
The sea was red and the sky was grey, wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.
The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake
as the children of the sun began to awake.

Seems that the wrath of the Gods
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;
I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I'll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.

To find a queen without a king,
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.


Take It With Me
Tom Waits

Phone's off the hook
No one knows where we are
It's a long time since I
Drank champagne
The ocean is blue
As blue as your eyes
I'm gonna take it with me
When I go
Old long since gone
Now way back when
We lived in Coney Island
Ain't no good thing
Ever dies
I'm gonna take it with me
When I go
Far far away a train
Whistle blows
Wherever you're goin
Wherever you've been
Waving good bye at the end
Of the day
You're up and you're over
And you're far away
Always for you, and
Forever yours
It felt just like the old days
We fell asleep on Beaula's porch
I'm gonna take it with me
When I go
All broken down by
The side of the road
I was never more alive or
Alone
I've worn the faces off
All the cards
I'm gonna take it with me
When I go
Children are playing
At the end of the day
Strangers are singing
On our lawn
It's got to be more
Than flesh and bone
All that you're loved
Is all you own
In a land there's a town
And in that town there's
A house
And in that house
There's a woman
And in that woman
There's a hart I love
I'm gonna take it
With me when I go
I'm gonna take it
With me when I go

Cocher Bailey's sister Anna
She did play the grand pianna
She went hammer, hammer, hammer
Till the neighbours said God damn her

Did you ever see
Did you ever see
Did you ever see
Such a funny thing before

dj, explain that Steely Dan song to me. How, exactly does it fit your theme set?

My word, McTag. That made me laugh, really.

If I had a hammer I might just hammer Sister Anna.

Listeners, there you have a dj genre and a McTag with Armand Hammer.

and speaking of Armand Hammer. Here's the straight dope about the man:

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_198.html

Amazing, and I, for one, thought he was associated with Arm and Hammer soda.

as for the song, i've never really thought about it' meaning, but it fits the everybody's gone theme, by virtue of it's title and chorus

You see, dj. Music has a purpose. Sometimes, it is just for the beat or for the pure commercialism. That song by Steely Dan had a strange portent to it. Rather like a hidden diary, if you will. for the musician, it is the strings inside; for the artist it is the splash on the canvas; for the listener it is the water that we all drink in order to survive, or feel refreshed. For many, it is the resolution of laughter.

Do any of you here know why I always try to address a person by name? Because it keeps us all from being just a written message, all tucked away inside a bottle.

In radio, we hear voices that have appellations attached to them. That is meaningful.

Some folks see an opportunity to find a weakness in another and exploit that weakness.

Once again, let me reiterate. The purpose of WA2K radio is to include the voices of all, wherever we live, whoever we are, even the voices that no longer can speak for themselves.

Yes, this is an op.ed.

When the members here have a gathering, it is a surprise to find out that we are all just people.

You, dj, are marvelously talented. Did you know that?

nother about leaving.

Judy Collins - Sky Fell
(written by: Judy Collins)

The rain is falling down
Along with the sky
The colors and remembered suns
Are pouring by.

What will I do with the sky
When it is empty?

Come to the window
Put your arms around me again
If you don't hold me
I will wash away with the rain

What will I do with my arms
When they are empty?

I'll just stand here and watch
The sky fall while you
Put yourself together
While you gather up the time it took to
Make us think we would last forever.

The window fills your face
With silver and grain,
You're soaking up the sky
I'll never see it again

What will I do with the sky
When it is empty

What will I do with my life
When you have left me?

A good one to leave by, edgar. <smile>

Signing off for the evening.

See you tomorrow, Lord willing and the creeks don't rise.

Artist/Band: Clark Terri
Lyrics for Song: Catch 22

A farmer on a tractor
Plowing in the field
Doing all he can to increase the yield
But the more he raises
The more the price goes down

Over at the factory
Working on the line
You do a good job and never fall behind
So your quota goes up every time you turn around
It ain't nothing new, it's called a Catch 22

Heads they win, tails you lose
It's all the same either way you choose
It's all the same either way you choose
You're damned if you don't and even if you do
It's a Catch 22

Tell a man you love him
He starts backing up
Tell him you don't and he's a lovesick pup
You try to get together
And watch it fall apart
Hey, I've been there too, what a Catch 22

Heads they win, tails you lose
It's all the same either way you choose
It's all the same either way you choose
You're damned if you don't and even if you do
It's still a Catch 22

Oh, it's a Catch 22
No matter what you do, it's a Catch 22

FAR AWAY EYES
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

I was driving home early Sunday morning through Bakersfield
Listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said, "You know you always have the
Lord by your side"

And I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran
Twenty red lights in his honor
Thank you Jesus, thank you lord

I had an arrangement to meet a girl, and I was kind of late
And I thought by the time I got there she'd be off
She'd be off with the nearest truck driver she could find
Much to my surprise, there she was sittin in the corner
A little bleary, worse for wear and tear
Was a girl with far away eyes

So if you're down on your luck
And you can't harmonize
Find a girl with far away
And if you're downright disgusted
And life ain't worth a dime
Get a girl with far away eyes

Well the preacher kept right on saying that all I had to do was send
Ten dollars to the church of the sacred bleeding heart of Jesus
Located somewhere in Los Angeles, California
And next week they'd say my prayer on the radio
And all my dreams would come true
So I did, the next week, I got a prayer with a girl
Well, you know what kind of eyes she got

So if you're down on your luck
I know you all sympathize
Find a girl with far away eyes
And if you're downright disgusted
And life ain't worth a dime
Get a girl with far away eyes

The station covered a lot of ground today. Thanks to the staff and all those contributing callers. In my mind is the thought of lost lovers. The McGuire Sisters say it better than me so here they are.



IT MAY SOUND SILLY

The McGuire Sisters

It may sound silly for me to say this
After the way you broke my heart
But I still love you although we are apart

It may sound silly to say I miss you
I must confess that this is true
I want you only, cause no one else will do


The day we quarreled and you left me
Before you walked out through the door
I wanted to tell you how much I would miss you
But my pride wouldn't let me tell you so

It may sound silly but if you phone me
And ask forgiveness for doin me wrong
It may sound silly but I'd be waiting with open arms

Oh yes it may sound silly but if you phone me
And ask forgiveness for doin me wrong
it may sound silly but I'd be waiting with open arms

Good morning, WA2K radio audience.

edgar, "a girl with far away eyes". What an interesting line, because it tends to explore the materialistic and the heuristic as opposed to simply being.

Ah, Bob. It is only when we lose something that we begin to see its value.

You know, folks. It is still dark here, and our exploration of times of day and night has a profound influence on how we think, i.e. daylight saving time and jet lag.

In our own conclave, we explore every area of our audience, and in reading through a bit of esoteric philosophy this morning, I was inspired to research a forgotten subject, which fits right in with the music of edgar and Bob.


I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man's life. As we live, we grow and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience.

Martin Buber

The "exploration and experience" is what we bring to our radio station, and the many contributors are like prisms who refract the many facets of humans.

I was thinking of Jeri Southern this morning and her version of the following song:

When I fall in love,
It will be forever,
Or I'll never fall in love.

In a restless world like this is,
Love is ended before it's begun.
And too many moonlight kisses,
Start to fade in the warmth of the sun.

When I give my heart,
It will be forever,
Or I'll never give my heart.

And the moment that I feel
That you feel that way, too.
Is when I fall in love with you.

Solveig my ex called with an interesting story. Family members visiting from Sweden arrived. She decided to show them some of the sites on the north shore. Up in Newburyport she came upon an apparently injured red tail hawk in the middle of the road. She stopped her car blocking traffic and tried to catch it. It tried to fly to the top of her car but couldn't make it. Then it went under the car. She tried calling and was then put in touch with an animal control officer who came and caught it. They'll take it to a rehab facility.

Looks like a slow morning on wa2k. Well Bob what are you going to do about it? Glad you asked Bob (I talk to myself sometimes). I'm going to fib a little (some would say lie) and tell everyone there's a whole lot of shakin' goin on. Think you can handle it Bob? Hmmmm maybe not. Hah! I've got it. I'll let Jerry Lee Lewis do it. Good idea Bob.


JERRY LEE LEWIS - "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On"


I said come on over baby
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on
Yeah I said come on over baby
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on
Well we ain't fakin'
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Mmm, I said come on over baby
we got chicken in the barn
Whose barn, what barn, my barn
Come on over baby
We got the bull by the horns
Yeah, we ain't fakin'
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Well, I said shake baby, shake
I said shake, baby shake now
I said shake it baby, shake it
I said shake it baby, shake
We ain't fakin'
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Well, I said come on over baby
a-whole lot-ta shakin' goin' on
I said come on over baby
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on
Well we ain't fakin'
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Well my mom-mom-mom,
I said shake it baby, shake it
I said shake it baby, shake it
I said shake it baby, shake all right
I said shake it baby, shake it
We ain't fakin'
A-whole lotta shakin' goin' on

Good day to all.

Birthday celebs for April 4:

1802 Dorothea Dix, social reformer (Hampden, ME; died 1887)
1884 Isoroku Yamamoto, Japanese admiral during World War II (Nagaoko, Honshu, Japan; died 1943)
1895 Arthur Murray New York NY, dancer (Arthur Murray Dance Party)(Died 1991)
1896 Robert Sherwood, playwright/author (New Rochelle, NY; died 1955)
1915 Muddy Waters, blues singer/guitarist (Rolling Fork, MS; died 1983)
1924 Gil Hodges, baseball player/manager (Princeton, IN; died 1972)
1924 Eva Marie Saint Newark NJ, actress (Sandpiper, Loving, Exodus)
1926 Cloris Leachman, actress (Des Moines, IA)
1928 Maya Angelou, author/poet (St. Louis, MO)
1932 Anthony Perkins, actor (New York, NY; died 1992)
1946 Craig T. Nelson, actor (Spokane, WA)
1965 Robert Downey Jr., actor (New York, NY)
1966 Nancy McKeon, actress (Westbury, NY)
1979 Heath Ledger, actor (Perth, Australia)

Warning, there is a new California Driver's Test. Here is a copy for you to peruse in case you live or might live in California. There are some toughies on this test, think carefully.....

. California Driver's License Test


New California State Driver's Examination
Here is a copy of the new California Driver's Exam. Since driving
conditions (and culture) are unique in California, you may not have
realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now
issued a special Application and driver's test solely for the
California area.

2005 CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION
Name: ___________________ Stage Name:__________________

Agent: ___________________ Attorney:____________________

Therapist's Name: _________________

Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female
[ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female
[ ] Both

If female, indicate breast implant size: _______

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate
a
motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________ _______
(Use extra pages, if necessary)
Please check hair color:Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ]
Skinhead [ ] Other ___________

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / reloading

Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to:
[ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___
[ ] b) Be shot at ___
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:

[ ] a) Call the police to report the crime.

[ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car
on
the news in a high- speed chase.

[ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone
company for your 911 call not going through.

[ ] d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should:
[ ] a) Stop your car.
[ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
[ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
[ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
[ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
[ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
[ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week:
________

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
[ ] a) Prozac
[ ] b) Zovirax
[ ] c) Lithium
[ ] d) Zanax
[ ] e) Valium
[ ] f) Medical pot
[ ] g) Zoloft
[ ] h) All of the above
[ ] i) None of the above

If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
[ ] a) Less than 1 hour
[ ] b) 1 hour
[ ] c) 2 hours[ ] d) 3 hours
[ ] e) 4 hours or more

If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
[ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form
ready.
[ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway.
[ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit.

When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it
means:
[ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken.
[ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes.
[ ] c) She is drying her nails.

Which part of your car will wear out first?
[ ] a) The wiper blades
[ ] b) The seat belts
[ ] c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
[ ] a) Security
[ ] b) Convenience
[ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in.

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
[ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads
[ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
[ ] c) Revenge

For the weather, keep this in mind:

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" ~Robin Williams

I've got beer and other goodies. Come out to the back yard and have a beer, a glass of iced tea or lemonade. Sally will bring her favorite toy for whomever has the best throwing arm.