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Wed 1 Dec, 2004 06:59 am
In the Place of Emptiness
In the place of emptiness
Softly, softness, gentlest
Bright white rays stream from the sun
Warmly, warmest, innocence
An orphan cloud is drifting by
Solstice, solace, penitence
A man is resting on a hill
Greenest, grandest, simplest
Staring through the painting sky
Bluest, boundless, interest
There is a falcon soaring by
Focused, flawless, anapest
Finds his mouse and has his fill
Simple, simplest, chevisance
Fields of gold and fields of rye
Wanting, wanted, appetence
An orphan cloud now blocks the sun
Silent, silence, quietest
In the place of emptiness
©2004 - KAV
New for this week! Knitting with words!
Kelly, I love the way you compare things, and your lines of transposing from one part of speech to another in the same line.
"softly, softness, gentlest"
knit one; "pearl" two.<smile>
As always, I find the need to read and reread, but isn't that the way with all poetry?
Knitting.. Pearling... bah...
Knitting, knitted, perilous
Bah? I'll have you to know, Kelly, that had I said purl, it might have inferred someone sitting in a rocking chair with long needles and a ball of yarn....but "pearl" was an allusion to the mother of nacre. In other words, I loved the sphere of your poem and its smoothness.
Gotta say, after a few rereads, I loved the allusion, wordplay, and especially the use of 'anapest', a terror dactyl reserved, waiting to strike back. The piece has that strength.
Thanks Cav. 'Tis a concept car - will never go to production :-) You can see in VoP where there are some extremely strange poems in relation to the body of the work. I tried to rewrite this one today and got stumped :-(
you paint a beautiful image with those words kelly
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