New poem!

Kristin, I feel you wrote this becuase of someone we know.. Who might I ask? If there is anyone? It show's how in younger years you try to fit in but in that you are dishonest if you are not you. It was good, only one complaint... the ****, didn't seem to be enough of wouldn't it be ****'**? Well thanks for your time!

weeelllls
Nah, izza bout someone I met down here. Well, it's about most of the people I've met down here.

and i had it the full f**king word but it only put four aterisks.

Heavy! Like a punk rock flourish!

Kristin I only got one word for you! OI OI OI!!!!

That's three, deary. But Oi is a good word, all the same.

Don't mouth or i'll feed you to Bob! Bob is a bad a$$! He could eeeeeeeaaatttttt your brains! He is our doggie! He is a sweet heart! I wish you would get eaten ^.^


note, this post is completely stupid and has nothing to do with anything, sept I got a doggie!!!!

Does your doggie stay in a window and have a waggley tail? =o =o!

No, he is a big doggie... he's wierd... I love him soooooo. he sleeps in the dog house in the backyard. He is a murder! He killed the email man and the "emilk" man too... ^.^ lob

as for the poem.....I enjoyed it. i found it to be bitter and in your face. Don't get me wrong- that's a good thing.

Now let me break it down......

Everyone loves you,
Isn't it great?
That everyone admires the fact that you're fake?
You feel no shame,
Oh no, you love attention.
But you just **** wait, boy,
You're due for some redemption.

Very good- very to the point. I don't know if the Curse word was necessary to make it a strong statement. Not that it takes away from the poem....but i don't think it was needed. Your poem is very good and could have stood alone without it.

So consider my words,
They might help you afterall.
You should have more,
To live for,
Than to display yourself at the mall.

here is where i felt the flow was interrupted. These last few lines didn't go as well as the rest of the poem. But still very good! Here is why i don't think it flowed as well.....before- the poem could have been about anyone- about any age....it was timeless.... but this last line "at the mall" makes the person of a younger age- someone who would hang out in a mall. It takes away from the timelessness of the poem. That doesn't mean its bad- because its not. It just makes the poem more age specific.

All in all....very good. I think I'll share it with my friends- if you don't mind!!!

Check out my postings...i will be adding my poems soon. and would love to here your opinions (be kind...I'm not as talanted as you)

Well, it was about a specific person. Luke Taylor. Mwahahaha. All he does is go to the mall and show off his new fad. It's sad really, cuz he'd be such a cool person if he weren't so infatuated with himself and being "alternatively hip."

Shucky darn, Kristin you gots fan's all over the world.... ****.... I just forgot i'm supposed to be doing my work... eh...OH WELL.