GRANDAD MY HERO

I was only ten years old when you came to stay with us - your house caught fire and no one else would take you in. There was you and there was Uncle John, who was three years older than me. I never got on with Uncle John and resented him coming to stay with us. As for you, Grandad - you were an old ,old man. I never paid you any attention because there were times when I spoke to you, you did not here me, so it was easier just not to bother. You and Uncle John stayed for two months - it seemed longer. I suppose to a kid like me it would seem longer. You were given a house around the corner from us, which was near in case you needed anything. Uncle John stayed with you for one month in your new house - then he was taken into care. He did not want to stay with you anymore - he was fed up looking after you.

You were sad when Uncle John left - you cried a lot. You asked Mum and Dad if I could stay with you for a couple of nights. I did not want to stay with you - even for a couple of nights - because it would be boring sitting with an old man. I did not want to look after you, but I stayed with you, after all, you were my Grandad and I felt sorry for you. Those couple of nights turned into four years - four wonderful years of love, kindness and education from you , Grandad . You gave me everything you had. You tried to buy my love - you didn't have to - I already loved you. When I had Asthma, Grandad, it was you who looked after me . You would come into my room during the night to make sure I was all right.

You had a great and funny sense of humour - you were always cheery. We would sit at night drinking tea, and you would tell me what you did in the Second World War- how you used to play The Last Post on your bugle for the soldiers who died in the war. You always had interesting tales to tell, and I looked forward to hearing them.

One morning I got up and dressed for school. You stayed in bed and I told you that I would see you later. I went over to Mum's - she was just going to work and Dad was driving her there. My two little brothers went over to your house, as they always did
before going to school. I never locked your door, so that you would not have to get up to let them in. Minutes later I heard screaming - it was my two little brothers. I knew something was wrong with you, Grandad, and I was scared. Our next door neighbour Camma, ran over to your house with me. You were lying in the hall - I knelt down beside you - I was crying but I didn't want you to see. You said that you lay down because you were feeling tired. So many things were going through my mind. Camma told me to phone an ambulance. I took my brothers and ran over to my house. It was Camma's Mum who phoned the ambulance and took my brothers into her house. I ran back over to your house and tried to comfort you. The ambulance came and at the same time, my Dad arrived. Both of us went into the ambulance with you - Dad was talking away to you and holding your hand.

The doctor said that you had had a stroke, but I did not believe it. You told me once that because you had reached the age of 90 you would not take a stroke and that you were fit because you went dancing. We had just returned from holiday and had booked up another one . The doctor told Mum and Dad that it was only a matter of time - but you lasted five weeks. You could not eat or drink and you were in a lot of pain. I felt as though I felt as though I was going through a nightmare, from which I would wake up and you would be there and we would have a good laugh about it. How wrong I was! Towards the end, Mum would not let me see you - she said she wanted me to remember you the way you were before the stroke - but I wanted to be with you. I did not want you to die all alone. You had looked after me and now it was my turn to look after you. Sadly, that was not to be.

The morning you died, I blamed Mum for not bringing you home - you had pleaded with Mum to bring you home. She said she would try, but she told me would be to much for her as you would need 24 hour care. I would have looked after you - I wanted you home.

Dad arranged for you to be brought home for two days - they were the hardest two days of my life - looking at you in the coffin. I cried a lot, but you were dead and there was nothing I could do. But I made you a promise as I cried over you - I promised to make you proud of me, Grandad, and I did. It was very hard but I did it. I told Mum and Dad that I wanted to go to your funeral and help to carry your coffin. After all , I stayed with you and felt it was my place to do you this honour, Grandad.

The morning of your funeral I carried your coffin with reverence and pride - my legs were shaking and I couldn't hold back the tears - thinking of you as my best friend as well as my Grandad. This was to be the last thing that I could do for you, and I was heartbroken. You were lowered into the ground as someone played The Last Post, which was only right and fitting - because you were a hero, Grandad - my hero, and I will always remember you with love and gratitude for the way in which you enriched my life. In time, perhaps the sadness and pain at losing you will fade and only the good memories remain , but you have left a gap in my life which will never be filled.

I wish I had told you, Grandad, that I loved you, but I did not know how much until it was too late. I hope I made you proud of me - I still miss you so much.