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Sat 20 Nov, 2004 11:07 pm
Maybe the sleep-derprivation's gone to my head, but I wish you were here, in my arms, in my bed.
I'm a sad, sorry excuse for a lunatic, falling flat on my *** everytime I try to catch you, But you're just waiting for someone to find you.
Another lover in waiting.
Let's walk in the rain.
Who gives a **** if we catch pneumonia, Just one more thing we'll go through together.
Let go and float down like a feather.
Are you crying, beautiful? Tell me what you've been through...
I'm here for the rest of eternity.
Tell me what's hurting, I'll kiss away your pain. No more lonely nights from here on out.
Are you afraid?
I want to give you wings, beautiful.
I won't let you fall.
I really like the first half, but the second half felt forced to me. It wasn't quite flowing as well. It sounds like a song though, which is pretty cool, do you play an instruments?
Rainbow, I do believe I should cry now, but I won't. Another well written poem. Way to go!!
Ehheh... I used to play trombone?
I tried singing this once, just like, singing in the shower ya know, but it sounded all Irish folk-songy from me. *Shrug*
Forced? Hm.. I can see how it looks forced, yeah. I was just writing whatever came to mind when I wrote this though. You know, boredom at 3 in the morning. Thankya though!
Is there a rule on A2K regarding use of curse words? I think the piece would do better with the whole thing laid bare. I don't see it as being forced. It is a good poem, RL. Keep it up!
kellyvinal wrote:Is there a rule on A2K regarding use of curse words? I think the piece would do better with the whole thing laid bare. I don't see it as being forced. It is a good poem, RL. Keep it up!
There is a vulgarity filter, but I echo your sentiments regarding the poem.
Perhaps an animated gif then, my friend :-)
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